Grief is a bugger

[Nextbitoflife]

Lost my DH 2.5 years ago. Life is generally good now, have a new boyfriend, kids are adults and thriving. But gawd it just blindsides me in the quiet moments sometimes. Feel like I’m forgetting what he felt like and sounded like. Looking at photos on my phone and he’s constantly slipping away further. It really sucks. Miss him, miss our shared past and the 20+ years of just knowing where I fitted in the world. Just had to say.

There are no rules with grief so they say.
It's great that you have a new boyfriend and I hope he's sympathetic to your loss
Go where your heart leads you. Don't forget to find time to grief/cry.

It's the finality if it that gets to me. The no going back . It sucks. Sending virtual hugs.

3 yrs 3 months since I lost my husband of 27 yrs.

I get so mixed up with time that I've actually found myself forgetting how long we were married. Told someone it was only 24 yrs, in spite of the fact that we had our Silver Wedding.

Have had periods when I think I'm somehow "getting over it" - and feel guilty - then it hits me again like a sledgehammer. Going through a sledgehammer phase again.

I think it makes it worse that some of us lost during or just post-lockdown: couldn't grieve or be comforted the way we normally would have done.

Sometimes I think I'm developing dementia, but I think it might just be grief brain.

I’m so sorry. It’s awful to confront that yawning chasm of life without them, getting bigger and bigger as they recede into the past.

I'm with you OP. My husband of 42 years died 3 years ago. To the outside world I've moved on, but like you the loss still cuts me short at times. I don't know if it ever gets better.

2 years and ten months for me losing my dh,

im ok for the most part except when im not. I’ve just lost my mum too so everything has been reopened.

im having a huge wobble at the moment and its the most daft things, I broke the last 2 of dhs ikea plates that he had had for years earlier and last week I replaced the knackered bed we had. Just had a cry now I just feel he’s slipping further and further away

I get it, OP. I've been so up and down on this grief journey as well, my husband passed away a few years ago and initially I seemed like I was coping quite well, but it's got worse, not better at some stages. Now I feel like I'm enjoying life again, but it will never quite be the same without his presence in the world. It's a hard thing to come to terms with.

Nearly 3 years here and some days I still can't believe someone who was a constant and permanent fixture for so many years can one day just be gone, forever.

hugs

3 yrs 5 months for me. I know what you mean.