Dad

[godgreengrass99]

Dad died this week😰😰😰😰💔💔
Had dementia for years but death not expected this week.
People keep saying oh at least he's at peace now and his suffering is over etc and it's almost as if I should be relieved!
I know his life was shit for years but mum did an amazing job of caring for him but I feel distraught.
I'm also in zero hours contract work and we have financial problems so got to go back next week and dreading it as feel so tearful and in a stressful job anyway.
Just don't know how to cope and people around are normal even partner and our sons so it feels weird to have lost one of the most important people in my life but I feel I need to move on already. No one has said that but partner and sons still laughing and joking in house even though I have lost dad. I just shocked at how normal life is around me even with close family.
How do I cope 💔😭😰

I’m so sorry for your loss.

It’s not much comfort, I’m afraid, but the only thing that truly helped me was time. Lots of time.

Be kind to yourself. Don’t listen to anyone else’s thoughts on how you are ‘supposed’ to react or behave because grief is very personal and however you need to react is just fine.

You don’t have to move on just because life keeps going. You have lost one of the most significant people in your life.

One day when the raw pain has passed, I hope memories of your Dad will bring you happiness and comfort.

Thankyou

I found my mum deceased in November and it's how the world and people just carry on that really upset me.
I don't know what I wanted but the fact that everyone just carried on when I'd lost my rock was hard.
Take care x

Yes that's what I find so hard amongst other things.

I felt like time was a river sweeping me further and further away from the river bank where my Mum stood. Each day carried me more and more out of reach, and I resented that no one else seemed to notice.

New things happened that she'd never see, stories and anecdotes she wouldn't know, family in-jokes she wasn't part of. It was all so very wrong. People much older who took less care of themselves kept living, and moaning about aging - I wanted to shout at them for their ingratitude. She deserved those years, not the people who were wasting them on bad temper and pettiness. I was furious for a good while as well as devastated by her absence.

I can only send you my best wishes for a time in the future with peace and kind memories.

I just want to send you love @godgreengrass99 , I’m so sorry 💐

I’m so sorry. I lost my Dad a few months ago. He was in hospital but wasn’t expected to die. Like you, I got a lot of “it’s for the best”, “at least he’s not suffering any more”. I tried to tell myself that people didn’t know what to say and that it was better than them saying nothing (which is what some people did). I’ve made a mental note never ever to say anything like that to someone who’s grieving, though.

Take your time. There’s no right or wrong way and we all handle grief in our own way. I’m 7 months in and still get ambushed by a wave of sadness every now and then, but it’s not so raw and immediate any more. 💐

Thankyou everyone for taking time to reply