Have had enough

[Cinnamongirlinthesand]

Just wish I wasn't here anymore.Health has deteriorated, unable to do what I've always been used to. Left a DV relationship a few months ago. Lost my mum in January. Don't want to put this on friends or family but have no idea where to go from here.Would like to go to sleep and not wake up.

Keep strong OP, speak to your GP first thing Monday morning and if things get to bad contact samaritans.

Also please speak to friends know when you are feeling Low you think no one cares and wants to listen but they honestly do.

When I lost my mum it was tough but I kind of thought to myself I have 2 options, sit and feel sorry for myself, or pick myself up and carry on with life to the best, which mum would of wanted.

You have made a great achievement leaving a DV relationship, give yourself credit as that is not easy. Also emotional abuse will stay woth you for a long time but it will get easier and you will get through it.

Chin up OP, call a friend and have a good cry, honest you will feel better and please contact your GP as soon as you can.

You're important OP 💐
Well done for leaving DV. I'm so sorry about your mum. Please speak with a GP x

I'm so sorry things are so hard, and I'm so sorry for your recent loss. I don't usually post on AIBU, but wanted to check in while you wait for other, more helpful replies. It sounds as though you've gone through a huge amount in a short time, and it's entirely understandable you're feeling the impact.

I know it's a cliché, but time will bring change of some kind. Circumstances change, emotions shift.

In the meantime, take it hour by hour - minute by minute if you need to - and follow the good advice above: do reach out for support.

It can feel so hard to do so, and you may not feel straight away as if it has, or could, make a difference: but it's like beginning to lay the foundations for the future - putting down the one little paving stone of booking a visit to the doctor may not seem especially helpful when you feel so low (and may feel as if it weighs a ton as you force yourself to lift that phone to put it in place) but, rationally, you know it will give you something to stand and build on that you'll benefit from over time. Ditto ringing a friend, even taking a shower, tidying the house or going for a walk. Just focus on the small steps that will help to move you through this period.

XXX

hey op talk to me.. I am sat here you can pm me if you want?or talk on here? come on ..you sound strong to me after all the success and hard work you have done to leave the awful situation you were in.I am sure if you want to spill your guts out we can all help you with advice? Put your troubles out here and lets try to help you x

Hello Cinnamongirlinthesand, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when any of our users feel as you do we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

you also have a fab user name!

OP - what an amazing and resilient person you are! I can’t believe you have come through so much, and no wonder you are feeling rock bottom.

You have survived some enormous life challenges- and come through all of them to get to this point. You should be so proud.

Falling asleep and not waking up is not the correct end for this story.

Can you take some time for self care tomorrow- as everyone has said here a GP call is a great start and Samaritans are so helpful for right now just to help organise your thoughts when you feel clueless about how to move forward. They are there to connect when RL friends don’t feel like the right people to call. You have nothing to loose by just ringing or sending them a text?

What helped you stay strong through the DV and make a plan for separation?

One minute at a time @Cinnamongirlinthesand - people love you and want you to stay.

https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support CALM’s support line is there for you. You can call or webchat x

Have spoken to GP. Now on ADs.
Think what triggered me was my ex, before the DV, has married a Russian bride.( Apparently she doesn't have long to live)
We were together 25yrs, 1 son.
I was bringing in the pennies, whilst he was studying, slogging my guts out, whilst bringing up a family and all that entails.
He inherited a feudal title, Lord of the manor.
He changed, so much.Said it was me or the (fake) title.
Guess what? Title over all
New wife is plastering all over SM about being Lady
It's a crock of shit, means nothing.

So f angry