Postmortem report

[Mepop]

Have any of you requested and read a postmortem medical report of a loved one? I know it will be upsetting to read so trying to decide whether I want to.

I have and it had photos in. I have self diagnosed ptsd from seeing them, I haven’t looked at it for a number of years but I can visualise my loved one dead on the floor now. It hasn’t benefited me in any way, it has traumatised me.

Oh do fuck off - my GP offered this to me - I didn’t ask

This is incorrect. Support following a bereavement is absolutely within the remit of a GP's care. I encounter an unfortunate number of child deaths in my line of work and its not at all uncommon or inappropriate for parents to have regular - even weekly - appointments with their GP in the period immediately following the death for emotional support, help unravelling the circumstances of the death, interpreting medical reports, or processing any aspect of the death or the period leading up to it.
I think this is a really small minded and petty response to @Pleasedontdothat 's post, especially given that it's not even accurate.

Jesus Christ @SpringtimeBunny the fact you posted that in response to someone widowed four months ago is unbelievable. Completely needless. I hope you feel embarrassed when you look back in your post.

I'm so sorry for your loss @Pleasedontdothat

Good grief, why on earth did you post this? Getting all sanctimonious about one GP appointment in the face of someone’s terrible grief is helpful how? In any case, it is an appropriate use of an appointment. Yes, there is a shortage of GP appointments, but calm down, it’s not that bad that you need to be so cruel.

For reasons I won't get into I ended up going to many post mortems as a medical student.

The reassuring thing is that the bodies are treated very carefully and with respect, they are for example washed carefully. Everything is done by the book and with the utmost care and thoroughness. Which is of course as it should be because the pathologist is fulfilling a legal duty.

However, the methodical thoroughness is in its own way disturbing, because essentially it is very invasive and I recall that I did feel more disturbed about the prospect of eg my own relative having a post mortem after I had witnessed them first hand (although I don't feel this way any more so maybe I have become a bit more hardened since my medical student days). The process of carrying out a post mortem is implied in the detail of the report and that may be very difficult to read about. Also, sometimes a very stark picture of the circumstances of death is created, and at other times, it's much more vague - each could be upsetting in different ways.

Edit: It sounds like a strange thing to say but a post mortem really hammers home in a brutal way the reality that a person is dead and what is left is their dead body. I suppose reading about it in detail could have the same effect. I think some people might find that helpful and others would find it too-much and that might depend on where they are in their journey of grief and their own individual perspective / approach to things.

If I were in your position I would not be able to resist obtaining a copy of the report but what I think would be ideal would be for someone you trust (ideally somebody who is in the medical field but failing that someone sensible without an emotional connection to your father) to read it over for you first, as that may help you to answer relevant questions before you make your decision. Eg: are there photos (and if so could these be removed or blanked out), does the description of injuries give a vivid impression of how your father died, what was the general condition of your father's body and so on.

I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope I have managed to word this in a way which is helpful.

I also agree that it is entirely appropriate to visit your GP in relation to a bereavement and most GPs I imagine would be very happy to discuss the post mortem with you if this would be helpful.

GP appointments are often extremely difficult to get, are there for sick people to get the treatment they need and are meant to be 10 mins long max. I understand you wanted explanations of the post mortem report but that is what the Coroner is there for.

Other posters have got here before me, and like them I agree that this is a wholly appropriate use of the GP's time. They are just as much responsible for the mental health of the living patient and offering an appointment to go through the Coroner's report could have saved that person months of mental anguish and depression.

My in-law died. We had to have a PM. It was very helpful and actually helped to know they had died because of X rather then Y. It means future relations might be saved.

Have you ONE empathic bone in your body? How dare you tell anyone they shouldn’t have called their GP! You have no idea what the poster was going through and it’s obvious the GP was happy to see the poster to explain things clearly to them.

Fuck sake, I don’t think I’ve read anything so callous on here in a long time.

OP I have read a post-mortem report. I’m not going to go into details on here but it helped me deal better with the death and put my mind at rest over many things that worried me. My lovely GP explained a few things I didn’t understand to me and the consultant who treated the person met with me too, they were both extremely kind and understanding.

Edited to add, apologies for the cross post re GP’s with many others.

Yes I have because my dad died unexpectedly and I needed to know why. I also read my sister's because she took her own life and we wanted to know about toxicology.

My husband was killed in an RTA. My GP read through the post mortem report and explained the fatal injuries to me. This was part of his ongoing support after such a traumatic loss.
I’m so very sorry about your loss.

Echoing what others have said but this is a completely insensitive and inaccurate post. This is appropriate use of a GP’s time supporting an individual through a life-changing bereavement. Credit to the GP at a time when they are vilified constantly by members of the public who have no understanding of their role.

@SpringtimeBunny

what you say, aside from being extremely insensitive and offensive, is factually incorrect - coincidentally, contained within the postmortem correspondence (UK) we were advised to make an appointment with our GP to enable them to explain to us, and for us to be able to fully comprehend, the postmortem report in full - we did not do this, but it WAS advised and IS a perfectly acceptable use of GP’s time.

Perhaps in future, take some time to consider before posting, especially when you appear to have such limited knowledge in this area, for which your sake I am glad for, but which for the rest of our sakes - you would do well to keep your mouth shut.

@SpringtimeBunny forgot to mention, this correspondence was from the coroner, for absolute clarification and avoidance of all doubt.

I did for my dad and it was the right thing to do but because it didn't come through until 2 months after his funeral I kind of ended up going back over everything when I'd previously rationalised it. I don't regret it though.

@SpringtimeBunny Christ, what a sanctimonious busybody. Couldn't resist (inaccurately!) reprimanding a recently a bereaved woman...

@Pleasedontdothat I'm sorry for your loss.

The coroner advised me to ask the GP to help me understand my dad's report but then when I made the appointment and went the GP was funny about it and couldn't see why I was there/had been advised to go.

I've seen OP's update now and I'm not sure I'd want to know the finer details given you know it was the accident. Saying that it's a personal decision. My dad got very ill very quickly and we didn't know why so I wanted to know. Turned out he had cancer.

I lost my dad in January, it was very sudden and unexpected. He just didn't wake up one morning. I read it as I needed to know what happened.

I lost my OH of 15 years on thursday and I don't think I'll read that one. I spoke with the doctors in A&E and I don't feel I have any unanswered questions now.

It depends on how you feel really. Burning questions keeping you up at night? Maybe read it. Feel at peace with what happened? Maybe give it a miss.

It was a very clinical experience and not something I'd put myself through if I didn't need to.

I've requested the postmortem for my DP. Found his cold lifeless body, nothing will shock me now.

I'm so, so sorry @Anguish

There are no words, you poor thing

When dh died unexpectedly and suddenly I didn't know you could see a post mortem report. I just read what it said on the death certificate and probably won't try and read more.

I lost my partner last year, I read his report which had to be translated because he died overseas. We knew it was likely that it was a heart attack, I was worried he had suffered and that was distressing for me, the report said essentially massive heart attack all over in 20 minutes. It was a great comfort to me that I now know he wouldn't have suffered or been scared.

Actually, that is where you are wrong. I work for the coroner, and asking the GP of the deceased to go through a PM report is advice we provide.

I haven't, but I did have a call with the coroner after my mum's, they explained the main findings and the cause of death. I personally don't think I could have coped with reading it.