8 years on

[Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals]

And it still leaves me bewildered. When do anniversaries start getting easier. It still feels impossible and raw.

Depends on the person who died, circumstances surrounding the death.
but at some point you have to learn to live without them in the world.
Raise a glass on their birthday/anniversary of the death. Does it help you to dwell on what could have , should have been said or done. Highly unlikely

@Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals

I think 🤔 it's a case of seeking good therapy with a charitable organisation or
if you can afford it going private?,

to explore your feelings in a safe environment with understanding therapist for you to understand why you are experiencing complex grieving process,

Also need to be like your own best friend such as just looking after yourself properly in good ways,
pamper yourself complementary therapy , beneficial nutrious eating ect,
not comforting eating foods with little or nutrition value ect,
Also surrounding with quality people and friends family

Maybe saving up if it's possible to,
go onto a well being retreat

Also take time for yourself doing activities interests and hobbies you enjoy such as arts and crafts etc,

What interests are you curious or just interested in ?

Anything you have put onto back burner forgotten about and you can quite easily pick it up too?

I don't know, is the short answer.

I'm 17, nearly 18 years in, having lost both parents in the space of 5 months, and it still feels horrific saying that even now.

I've tried to tell myself that an anniversary is just another day that they're not here, but I haven't convinced myself yet.

It's not as raw probably as in the earlier years, but the emotion can still catch me by surprise.

Thank you.

A wise friend told me that in some ways it does get worse as it’s longer since you saw them. Hugs.💐💐💐