Crushing guilt after dad died

[Wardroder]

Grief and crushing guilt 2 replies

My wonderful dad passed away last week. I adored him and he loved me. He helped me through so much stuff in recent years.

before he died, there was something he was paying out of his bank on a monthly basis on my behalf. Not a huge sum- about £30 a month. I’d forgotten to set up the transfer to reimburse him. He knew and had told me to just sort it when I could. Life/work etc got in the way and I forgot.

I’m beating myself up with guilt. I feel like I let him down and took advantage of him. I miss him so desperately x

What would your dad say if he saw you now?
Your reaction is perfectly understandable in your grief. It's all still so raw for you. Feeling guilty about something is totally normal! (Mine was not being there when he died)

Sorry to hear about your dad, he sounds very kind. Don't beat yourself up,, he wouldn't want to see you in so much pain, you haven't taken advantage of him. Would you like to donate the amount of money he paid to a charity or group he supported in his name. You miss him because you loved him, be kind to yourself.

Decide to pay it forward? When you get the chance to help someone important, like another family member, you can do that in honour of your dad.

He loved you I bet, I'm sure he'd forgive you.

Just want to send a virtual hug. My Dad passed away while I was on holiday abroad in January - I completely beat myself up with guilt until I accepted that if I'd been in the UK it would have been no different-- he died in his sleep.
Your grief is so so raw...be kind to yourself please ❤️❤️

Aw don’t feel guilty. I still pay the odd thing for my adult children and I don’t mind if they forget to reimburse me, I like helping them. Your dear dad did this because he loved you, not because he wanted the money back. Forget about this and just focus on everything else you need to, and all the happy memories.

I found out this week that I have terminal cancer.

I would be devestated if one of my children were upset about something like that rather than just trying to enjoy their lives and remember what a lovely relationship we had.

Don't know if that helps at all op, I hope so xx

I'm so sorry to hear that @Jouleigh
I hope you have some support around you.

So sorry to hear that. Take care xx

@Wardroder how are you feeling today?

not too bad thank you. I had a decent sleep x