Too soon to go back?

[Howdyhi]

My mother passed away last Thursday the 22nd it was expected she died at home where I live with her too work have been nothing but amazing and given me just under 2 weeks off so I go back to work on the 6th March. i work nights doing 3 on two off.

i just can’t help but feel it’s too soon I still feel numb if I’m honest not sure if that’s because I’ve also recently started sertraline and it’s working I’m not sleeping at night mainly pushing myself to exhaustion and then getting a few hours sleep the house feels so cold my aunt is sorting everything with the funeral as I just don’t feel mentally stable enough to do so.

im worried about not coping going back to work I’ve already had most of January off due to my mom being of life went back to work beginning of February now off again another two weeks were almost in March now I can’t afford to take anymore sick leave I’m wondering if it would be appropriate to ask if I can go back on reduced hours? Has anyone ever done this? I was on reduced hours before so I could spend extra time with mom before she passed but honestly don’t think I can cope doing 44 hours a week on nights when I’m struggling to sleep any advice? Xx

Have you got an Occupational Health department at work that you could ask to be referred to?

Hi no I don’t think we do I just don’t know what to say

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It seems like a really sensible idea to return to work on reduced hours. I would just ask if I were you, especially as your employer has been supportive so far. Have you spoken to your GP? You're going through a very hard time and some additional support from them might really help you.

I’ve had a telephone consultation and they said they’d be willing to agree to sign me off work if needed I told them I don’t think that would help I don’t get sick leave pay so would be on ssp and they suggest maybe staying on reduced hours for some time I’m just unsure of what to say to my employer or email them and say ? I feel like I’ve constantly let them down this year I work in a high pressured environment working with dementia and don’t think I would cope to be honest

You've let nobody down OP. This time is about you and you have to put yourself first.

If I were you I'd be very honest with your manager and tell her what you've told us. That you are finding the thought of returning very difficult, that your GP has said they would sign you off but that's not what you want, you'd like to come back on reduced hours for a short period.

You're not asking for anything unreasonable and your employers seem fair and supportive.

I'm sorry for your loss
Get back to your GP and ask them to write you a Fit Note stating could be be fit to return to work on X date with the following adjustments- and then they can put the reduction in hours for 6 weeks (or whatever)