Do you find looking at pictures of loved ones who have passed away to be comforting or upsetting?

[flowerbombgirl]

A close family member of mine sadly took their own life nearly 2 years ago. I have a few photos of them. I find that looking at the photos makes me upset as it reminds me of both the fact they have gone, and it also makes me think of the circumstances in which they died. It was a major shock when it happened. I am worried that if I stop looking at the photos I will slowly forget what they looked like. I'm curious what other bereaved people do. Do you look at pictures of your late loved one regularly or not very often?

[Moier]

Yes l do.. my partner took his own life 15 years ago and l still look at the photos..
Same as l look at the photos of my parents..
Brings me comfort.. fond memories..
I have videos of him riding his motorbike..
His mental health was a torture to him in the end.

[ABlackHole]

Yes I do. I find especially videos and hearing their voice gives me comfort most of the time.

you won't forget what they look like though and you always have the photographs to go back to at any time.

all I would say is everyone grieves differently and you should do what helps you.

[mummylon2]

Just over a year on from my step dad dying and I still struggle to look at photos. It's something I'm working on in therapy but can be a natural response. Perhaps seek some grief therapy. I'm very sorry for your loss xx

[OkayKinkade]

No, never. 10 years on and I just can't and don't want to either.

[peachgreen]

Depends what mood I’m in. I have photos of DH up but I don’t tend to trawl through albums that often. Sometimes I do though, and it’s nice and sad at the same time.

[HelloDarlingWhatAreYouDoingHere]

It doesn't make any difference, I still think of her every day.

[Roryhon]

Sometimes they make me smile, other times they make me miss them terribly and bawl my eyes out!

[ZoeyBartlett]

I love looking at pictures of my .mum. I have her on my phone as the lock and on my watch. Often chat to them and think about her.

[Pearlyclouds]

I find looking at pictures of my dad when he was younger very comforting as I can just imagine him happy still at that time.
I find looking at pictures of him from around the year he died upsetting as it then reminds me of the shock of his death and all that pain etc... and I'll also be thinking things like 'that was the last time he would ever build lego with my son and we didn't know it' so it's hard to look at..
Whereas the older pictures of when I was a baby and pictures of him as a young man I do find really interesting and comforting and I love to see them.
I wish I had taken more videos I only have a few. I find it a big help I can hear his voice any time I want on those videos.
I do think it's hard with photos when the death was sudden or a big shock... because I have photos that were taken of him hours before his death... of him just sat happily in the sun in a cafe with his friends talking to my daughter on the phone. So what should be a happy photo just reminds me of the shock and trauma and how surreal it was that he dropped dead out of nowhere.
I imagine it might be like that if someone took their own life too... the happy photos of them alive leading up to their sudden death will probably be very bittersweet and surreal.

[Babyenroute]

Hard, my sister passed away 17 years ago and I still havnt seen a video and not sure I would be able to now. I like having the photos but find it hard to look at them.

[JoanChitty]

I like watching videos of my dear mum and dad. It’s lovely to hear their voices again.

[Gettingbysomehow]

I find it both comforting and upsetting. I cant really explain. My heart aches for my loss but I feel better for looking at her picture.

[CatherinedeBourgh]

I have only a few old photos of my dad but I like looking at them. I don't look for them to look at them, but when I come across them they make me smile.

I'm faceblind though, so my memories are not visual, they are very much about how he felt rather than looked.

[Goblinmodeactivated]

Both OP. It’s important to access the memories even though they are so sad. I’d rather have them tears and all; than not.

[mondaytosunday]

Yes I do. My husband died suddenly 15 years ago when my kids were small. I always wanted them to remember him so got a few pics printed on canvas and put them up. I love looking at him smiling with the kids.

[kaiadeluded]

When my mum passed away in September I made a book of photos which helped but also I keep having photos of her come up on my Facebook memories which can be upsetting. I have so many of her pictures on my phone too. I'm just still very upset about it all.

[DiscoBeat]

I look at a particular picture of my Dad, who died 2 years ago, several times a day. I'm fortunate in that it absolutely captures his personality and it brings me a lot of comfort.

[thatneverhappened]

Yes. I find the photos of people who passed at the "right" time comforting but I bawl my eyes out for the family member who killed themselves. It's differently sad. Sorry you also lost someone that way

[jenny1209]

@Roryhon

Sometimes they make me smile, other times they make me miss them terribly and bawl my eyes out!

Yes same! It’s been ten years since I lost my dad and there’s still good days and bad days. You must always remember that grief isn’t a linear thing and that it’s ok to feel whatever it is you feel.

My grandad passed 22 years ago and my mum still can’t bring herself to look at any photos of him.

[Yesssssssssss]

My mum died in 1982. I've never been able to put a photo out. It's still too painful. DH died 12 years ago. I cannot have a photo up. DSs have photos of him in their rooms but I can't bear the idea.My dad and sister died more recently and I have kept the photos I already had of them on display. It's not painful. I can look at them and think what a terrible shame they're gone and I miss them both dearly.For me it depends on the pain of the loss, the circumstances of the death and the nature of the relationship.

[bereftmother]

My daughter ended her own life just over a year ago. I look at her photos frequently, and they make me feel both happy and sad. Good memories, but the knowledge that there will never be any new ones is heartbreaking. And I trawled through her Facebook (and her friends with poor security!) and found every photo I could of her, many I'd never seen before.

The very last photo I took of her, not knowing it would be the last, is the one I find hardest to look at. It's just a snap, of her laughing at her sister, but...

[tryingtohelp82]

@Roryhon

Sometimes they make me smile, other times they make me miss them terribly and bawl my eyes out!

This.. depends on my mood, current mental health and life circumstances etc.

[flexigirl]

I'm finding it very difficult to have pictures of my lovely mum anywhere . Every time I would look at her I was getting that bunched up stress ball in my chest and feel quite nauseous. It just reminds me of the wonderful life we had together . She was one in a million as a mum as well as an amazing gran . I'm currently pretending she's just on a really long holiday

[WearyAuldWumman]

@flowerbombgirl

A close family member of mine sadly took their own life nearly 2 years ago. I have a few photos of them. I find that looking at the photos makes me upset as it reminds me of both the fact they have gone, and it also makes me think of the circumstances in which they died. It was a major shock when it happened. I am worried that if I stop looking at the photos I will slowly forget what they looked like. I'm curious what other bereaved people do. Do you look at pictures of your late loved one regularly or not very often?

Sometimes it upsets me; sometimes it comforts me.

Lost my husband 3 yrs ago. Found myself looking at a pic of him this evening and smiling at his beautiful smile. God, I miss him.