DP lost both his parents

[beck1976]

My DP has sadly lost both his parents this year already. They were both in poor health and passed away 24 days apart.
His family don’t live local to me so he’s currently there with them sorting everything out. I have sent cards for both bereavements, and sent him a gift of a memorial chain with his dad’s picture in which he was so very pleased with. Now his mum has passed, I feel I should get him another memorial gift but don’t know whether to get another chain or a men’s leather bracelet if I can find one you can add a photo to? Just not sure if another chain would be ideal as I feel it would be a bit strange wearing two every day as just one would show better and I don’t want them to get tangled up. Any suggestions as to what I could get?

You could get him one with a photo of the two of them. But tbh you don't need to buy him a gift at all. Just be there for him.

I wouldn't get a gift unless it's a lovely framed photo of them. i suppose you know them best but I would find something like a chain or a bracelet very upsetting as to me after my parent died especially from someone close to me it would be commodifying and trivialising a huge loss to me. I wouldn't want a piece of cheap jewellery foisted on me as I'd feel a pressure about it as well - not wanting it, not wanting to upset the partner who gave it, not wanting the life of someone amazing reduced to junk.

People are different though and you will know them best. some people may like that. but some people even find photos upseeting - there is a thread on this board about that very subject.

The main thing you can do is be there for your partner. let them talk and cry as much as they want to and don't be afraid of the conversation.

if your parents are still alive and you havent experienced parental loss you really won't understand it. it is a deep and life destablising event that is probably one of the most significant things that happens during a life time so tread carefully and just offer love and understanding.

I lost both of mine last year within 8 days. Photos of them happy and together are my happiness.

oh god @canttellyouwhereorwhatido - both with 8 days - I'm so sorry.

My deepest condolences. I know that must have been unspeakably hard to deal with.