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Bereavement

Grandfather passing

8 replies

Firsttimemummy23 · 14/01/2024 19:55

My lovely grandad passed away on the 22nd December and I am filled with so much regret, I didn't see since October not from lack of trying but he always seemed busy when I tried to arrange to go down there or he would forget that he promise to visit me and my LG (she is one)

Since he has passed I just feel so lonely, I have been left to arrange mostly everything, house clearance (his house is council owed) and now his funeral. I am so drained, I am still quite unwell from having my LG as I had a massive birth injury so I am useless currently and I can feel it. I am physically in pain from packing the house up (thankfully FIL and Hubby moved the items downstairs to make it easier on me)

I am one of three Executors however the other day I was accused of just getting over his death which is a lie, I just don't have time to grieve him because I am so busy trying to sort his estate, his funeral, stop family arguments, look after a toddler, work part time and also run a business on a side (which I have side-lined)

I think it is finally hitting me after seeing the house completely empty upstairs where I lived with them (they raised as me their own) that he is gone and so is my nan. I try to stay strong for my LG as I don't want her to see me break apart.

I then found out the day after the best person in my life passed away, his son (one of executer) sneaked into the house and took three bum bags with him at 8.45am and I can't even ask him about it. I know he is money obsessed as he treated my grandad like a bank! My mum just isn't interested in helping at all.

I just want to live with my LG and not come back.

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Helplessandheartbroke · 22/01/2024 15:26

Sorry you've had no replies op. Is it your mums dad? If so why won't she help? What about the other executives?

Guilt is part of grieving I'm afraid. I've got a thread about guilt on here. It's shit and I don't really know what to say other than try and think of the positives. Sending hugs

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TayceOnToast · 21/02/2024 18:54

Hi love, so sorry about your lovely Grandad. I came to the bereavement section because I lost my Grandma recently (coincidentally also on 22nd December). I’m sorry that this thread isn’t getting much attention, I think most people aren’t as close to their grandparents as they are to their parents so people are skimming past your thread. But for some of us they are so much more than just “elderly” relatives. My Grandma felt like a sister to me really, and I would talk to her about things I wouldn’t chat to my parents about. I miss her.

We also have family drama around the will
and the funeral. It’s so difficult to deal with all at once, especially with your little one being so young. I hope you find a way to manage and process your grief, little by little.

I personally believe my Grandma is still with me. She was very religious and said to me before she died that we will be together again. I’m not religious but I believed her, and last night she spoke to me in a dream. I hope you find a way to feel connected to your lovely Grandad again, in a way that makes sense to you. Big hugs to you, you’re not alone. X

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Helplessandheartbroke · 21/02/2024 19:00

@TayceOnToast sorry for your loss too! I believe our lost loved ones are now our guardian angels and we will meet again

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TayceOnToast · 21/02/2024 19:03

Helplessandheartbroke · 21/02/2024 19:00

@TayceOnToast sorry for your loss too! I believe our lost loved ones are now our guardian angels and we will meet again

❤

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TraitorsGate · 21/02/2024 19:11

Sorry you lost your dear grandad. Why are you having to do everything. Where are the other executors and family. He knew you loved him and he wouldn't want to see you this upset, you need to be kind to yourself.

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shellyleppard · 21/02/2024 19:15

Op I'm so so sorry for your loss. Right now I think you are trying to juggle so many things. You will miss him endlessly. Sending the biggest hug x don't be afraid to cry in front of your lg, its only natural to cry over losing a loved one. Sorry if that sounds patronising its not meant that way x hugs x

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TayceOnToast · 21/02/2024 20:08

shellyleppard · 21/02/2024 19:15

I agree, I think it’s very healthy to have a little cry in front of her and explain “I’m upset because xyz” in age appropriate terms. It will do her good to see that it’s ok to cry, and that it’s possible to be sad and still dust yourself off and carry on. ❤️