Don't believe

[purpleme12]

My dad has died
But I don't believe it.
I don't believe that it's happened

I am so sorry, it takes a while for it to begin to sink in and, even then, there will be times when it still feels surreal

Sorry to hear about your dad.

For a few days after my dad died (and it was expected), I had dreams that it was all a mistake. He'd be floating in the sea or a lake, in a kind of suspended animation, and then come back to life.

So sorry. You'll be in shock, try and do what you need to do for you. Put you first at the moment

So sorry, there is a good support thread on this board for loss of parents

Should I go into work or not?

That is up to you OP and your circumstances, but if possible I would take as much time out as you can, when you can. Some people might find the routine helps cope with the initial shock, it's different for everyone. My mother died 3 months ago after a short and devastating illness. I knew it was coming and has looked after her for months, but still I couldn't get out of bed or eat for several days. I went back to work in December but it would be a stretch to say I'm functioning properly yet. I still don't believe it really. There is no normal.

This is the start of a long road. Be kind to yourself ❤️

I am so sorry for your loss. The shock and disbelief can last for several days. I would plan on not going to work tomorrow. Xxx

No don't go into work.. i think it standard to have at least two weeks off.

Most companies won't allow that.

OP, I am so sorry you've lost your father. If possible, don't go into work today. Do you have friends or family you can be with?

Most employers won't allow two weeks as bereavement leave, but most people do get signed off sick with a doctors note for a few weeks (or in some cases months)

I still don't believe it

Don't know what to do

Yes that's a normal reaction I think....you sound in shock. If I was you, I'd not go into work, stay on the sofa, have a cup of tea and ask a friend or relative to sit with you x

I am so sorry OP. It's never easy when this happens and I'm sending you a very un-mumsnetty hug.

Please stay home and don't go to work. You will be entitled to some bereavement leave then any GP worth their salt would sign you off if you asked for them to do so. Your mental and physical health may well take a battering with this.

In terms of what to do, that depends. Were you his sole carer? Are you the executor for his estate? If you are then there are things to be done but solicitors can guide you on this. If not, just take time for yourself to grieve and get used to this new way of life.

Please be kind to yourself, don't push yourself and take all the time you need to grieve the loss of your lovely dad xx

I'm so so sorry. Give yourself time.

I’m so sorry OP. I didn’t believe it when my mom died. I made up fantasies about her being kidnapped by the mafia/shady government people, after witnessing a murder and then eventually being returned to us. Give yourself time and TLC.

A mate is coming tonight but that's it.
I don't know.

A bit numb

Not really feeling

Everyone else is

But not me

I'm very sorry for your loss.

And the numb feeling is quite normal. Don't worry about other people and how they're processing things; we all grieve differently.

Don't go back to work! I did this, after my mum died (I ran my own business and felt that I needed to, for some silly reason). I look back now at the things I did/wrote and said and it was obvious that I wasn't coping, even though I thought I was.

Be kind to yourself. This is a time, if ever there was one, to be selfish.