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Bereavement

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Today is my dad’s birthday and I’m struggling.

1 reply

Ironingpile · 05/01/2024 17:52

Lost dad quickly to cancer in March last year. We didn’t suspect it was that. It was a huge shock to find he was stage 4 with no hope and a terminal diagnosis.

We’ve just got through our birthdays, Christmas, New Year and today is his birthday.

I lit the fire and made hot chocolate. My daughter wasn’t very well so we stayed home as initially we planned to go see my sister and be together.

I am in therapy once a week as I held him dying, but today I’m struggling. I know the world moves on and it’s my dad and we expect to lose our parents but I’m really, really struggling.

My marriage isn’t great, I feel so alone and my dad always had my back.

I miss him every single second. Some days I wish I wasn’t here. I wake up and think oh here we go again…

I just wanted to ask will life get better? I feel I keep feeling guilty I didn’t know (none of us did) that he had cancer. Why didn’t I realise or know. He just had a sore throat and I made him see the doctor after 10 days or so as I said he might need antibiotics.

I keep thinking of being in the scan and then taking us into a private room immediately after and telling us it was cancer. His face. It keeps going round my mind how he coped.

Sorry if this is rambling. I’m crying as I type. I feel so disconnected from life apart from friends who have also suffered loss. I feel closer to them.

Sorry again, I just don’t feel good today.

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 05/01/2024 17:55

I'm sorry you feel this way. It's early days over time you will learn coping strategies. Try bereavement services like cruise if you need to. Give yourself a chance and remember you were lucky to have a great dad, a read of some the posts on Mumsnet will show you that. Take care

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