How to remember DM when memories feel so distant?

[Whatisthisarghhh]

My DM died over summer back in my home country (20+ hour flight). She had dementia and ended up having a relatively quick decline and death. I saw her last Easter with my 2 primary school DC and DH. But she was unwell then and didn't really give DC any time or attention. I am finding it difficult to grieve and remember her as I've lived in this country for 15+ years and DC haven't spent a lot of time with her outside of holidays. It has been 10 years since we spent Christmas with her so DC have no memories of that. I feel like as much as I loved her and she was a great Mum, life hasn't changed that much. Because she lived abroad, the impact on my immediate family in UK has been minimal. How do I remember her and celebrate her life? I think part of me is grieving for memories that were never made and also coming to terms with the huge sacrifice I made to live in my DH home country and not mine. Sorry for the ramble!

Make a photo book of photos of you with your mum and of her with your family
Write down all your happy memories and what you remember of her life.
She is still inside you and you are the person you are because of how she brought you up so bear that in mind.
My father died before my GC were born but they all feel as if they knew him. We have always talked about him and re-told his stories and talked about his life and what he taught us.

Sorry for your loss. I think you will find the right way to grieve for your DM, once you have worked through the other feelings it has stirred up around living outside your country of origin. It's very natural for your DM's death to bring these to the surface. Would some counselling be an option? It might be helpful to talk all this through?

Give yourself time. It's very early days, in terms of coming to terms with a parent's death.

That sounds very difficult, I'm sorry for your loss. Don't get caught up in thinking you should be grieving in a particular way. If your day to day hasn't changed, embrace that.
If you are grieving the time and memories you didn't get to make, one way to help with that is to think of things you did share with your mum, times you spent together when you were younger, and introduce that to your own children. This will bring them a connection to her too.
Perhaps a particular meal or food she made for you that you could make for your children and tell them this is grandma's special meal. Or perhaps something she enjoyed doing, watching a favourite film or doing an activity that you can now do together and say you are doing it to remember her.
In my family we have a pudding on Christmas Eve that none of us particularly love but my grandad did, and since he died 20 years ago it's still like a family thing that we carry on having it every year.