It just doesn’t get easier

[Heyhoherewegoagain]

14 years today and it feels just as raw. I genuinely think I’m still traumatised.
She Had early onset Alzheimer’s and lived for 10 years after diagnosis
I’m heading for the age she was when she was diagnosed and I’m fucking scared for me and my sibling

Sorry there’s no point to this post, I just still feel broken

Oh I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, that's a massive loss by the sounds of it, following what must have been a very tough time before that
I lost my DDDad this year to dementia.

Would you like to talk about her or your sadness or fears?

@mikado1 thank you that’s very kind , but there’s nothing I can say that I’ve not said over the years. I’m sorry to hear about your dad too, I lost my dad with dementia too 3 years ago. It’s been a tough year this year

That makes it harder still 💐

Grief on top of grief and worry at this time of the year can just be so painful it takes your breath away.

And I do think there's not enough acknowledgement in general for those tough years before death.. those times have a massive effect on loved ones and they certainly changed me.

@mikado1 we had 10 years of fighting for help, because she was under 65. Nowhere and nothing for under 65s was registered for people with dementia and nowhere and nothing for dementia was for under 65s.

I know it was a long time ago and I should have come to terms with it, but I still feel stuck

Well that was so difficult, exhausting, draining, enraging, frustrating, stressful.. you were probably burnt out long before the grief you suffered after her death. I know I'm a shell of my former self after the years we put in. Would you speak to someone to help you with the stuck feeling? Is there something in particular that keeps going round in your head?

See a therapist.

Exercise a lot. See friends a lot. Try hard to move on. It was 14 years ago. She was 75. Otherwise you've still got the effects. And it's ruining your life.

It does get easier.

I lost both parents when I was 21, mum in her early 50s and dad in his 60s. Ten years on I'm.still broken by it. I don't think I've been the same person since.

@Flyhigher she was diagnosed at 57 and died at 67.

I know your advice is right, and I do have some plans in place for the new year, 2023 has been a tough year for my family and whilst I think about my parents very regularly, mum’s anniversary has hit hard this year, probably because of the other stuff.

Thank you all

@Shiningout I’m so sorry for you having that loss at such a young age, it really does change you doesn’t it