what can I do for a lovely couple who are facing their first Xmas without their DC?

[cremantsupernova]

that's it really.
They are acquaintances not good friends but want to let them know their DC won't be forgotten in my house (one of my DC did an activity with their DC)
And that I'm thinking of them?

Maybe make the child's favourite dessert/dish and drop it off?

A Christmas ornament with a portrait of their DC?

For acquaintances? Those are a bit full on and they might find it weird.

OP, just send a card.

Really? Here’s a dessert your, no longer with you, child used to like? That’s an awful suggestion!

In fact I’d just leave them in peace. I’m sure the time of year is difficult enough without well meaning acquaintances popping by to remind them they won’t be having a lovely family Christmas.

I would slightly rewrite your opening post in a Christmas card. I personally think it's lovely that you are acknowledging the loss.

We've cancelled Christmas this year.

Thankfully friends and relatives are supporting this in not sending christmas cards/gifts.

We will be shut away for the day, we don't expect others too, but we're not doing Christmas.

I’m a bereaved parent. Please do send a card. Please do continue to say the name of their dc. I think dropping around with a card and desert, wine, a little angel w robin tree decoration or a candle to light is a beautiful thing to do. Many friends will not know what to do. I was lucky with many of my friends but some of my great new post death of dc friends are the brave people who turned up and talked to me.
you may make them cry. It’s not a problem. They were probably going to anyway.

Thank you for sharing and so so sorry for your loss.

Send a card and be sure to include their child's name. One of the greatest fears when losing a child is that they will be forgotten and that they will be the only ones to say their name.

If you'd like to gift something then a home cooked meal might be nice. Something easily freezable.

Uk .. Send a card. Knock on door and give it to them. Don’t stay long you will. You are an angel for them right now you imo

Send or give them a nice card with a message that acknowledges their loss. Invite them for a drink or coffee (but obviously don't push if they say no!)

Yes, a card, with a message in acknowledging how difficult Christmas will be, but that you wanted to let them know that {child's name} is fondly remembered by your dc and you.

Send a card. It's our first Xmas without DS and this week I've had a good few messages from acquaintances and school/football friends' mums telling me they're thinking of us. One ex colleague dropped around a personalised Xmas ornament and even though we have cancelled Xmas this year, I have appreciated these gestures.

I’m so sorry to read this. That first Christmas is especially tough. If you’ve not already found it The Compassionate Friends is a wonderful charity with lots of us sharing and supporting

Definitely a Christmas card with a mention of their loved one. And if you want to send a gift, something food related can be a good option - maybe a voucher for a pizza delivery.

Thanks I will pop a card through - it's a really busy time of year and I was better earlier in the year at inviting mum round for a quick coffee I haven't forgotten her but have been super busy/distracted as have had own stresses/illnesses - will find some words to pop that in a card and suggest some dates for a dog walk or similar in the NY

Fuck me, have ever lost someone who didn't make it to old age?

Well intentioned I'm sure, but even so.

@cremantsupernova just before I have my annual Christmas breakdown, some of these are really bad ideas. Nobody who had lost someone before their time needs reminding of their loss, it will be incredibly painful and raw, for years, over 30 in my case.

Just a card with 'thinking of you, much love' says it all

If they are acquaintances I would probably send a text saying that you are thinking of them and <child's name> and that you would love to meet for a catch up/dog walk/whatever you normally do in the new year.

I would have hated getting my child's favourite dish or an ornament with their image on, especially from an acquaintance, and especially in the first year.

This is possibly one of the worst suggestions I have ever read on MN...and that's saying something!

I think maybe Turneas thought the OP meant the Dc was away for Christmas, not that the parents were bereaved.
A card with a personal message OP, and letting them know you still think about them and their child.

Please don't do this.

I am so sorry for your loss. Not even sure what to say in these cases, there are no words. I hope you find the strength to carry on

@readingismycardio thank you. Replying is lovely and really you just do carry on. I carry our dd in my heart.

@Turneas just absolutely no. Weird at best, traumatising at worst.

A card saying something like "realising that thoughts of [name of the son/daughter that has been lost] will be particularly painful at this time of year" would be experienced as compassionate and sensitive I think.

Not sure whether to laugh or explode at the 'favourite dessert/ christmas ornament' suggestion. I'm sure it was meant kindlly. But don't do that. Of course.