Sudden death of boss,need a handhold

[Sundaycoffee]

I know this is not comparable to anyone else going through bereavement of family and friends on this page but I found out yesterday evening that my boss age 50 has died from a heart attack. Totally out of the blue. I'm shocked by how affected I am by his death and haven't stopped crying.
I have been his assistant for 4 years and we had a close relationship. He was a wonderful man. My job is not in jeopardy but I just feel so shocked and devastated. Can't even begin to imagine what his family must be going through, especially at this time of year x

What an awful shock. Far too young. Holding your hand OP 💐

I'm so sorry OP, i get it, i lost a boss to cancer a few years ago, it happened very quickly and none of us really believed he'd die, i'd been his assistant for about 6 years.
I hope you've got some support around you. We raised money and bought a bench with a plaque and put it in the office grounds which is lovely

Oh that's so sad. I think sometimes the death of a work colleague can be just as shocking or have as big an impact as a friend or loved one, as often we spend more time with work people anyway. I'm so sorry for your loss xxx

If you had a good working relationship, he was indeed a friend so you are just as much allowed to feel grief as anyone else. Of course you are sad at the shock death of someone you spent most days with for four years.

Probably some colleagues will be feeling the same. Maybe contact a few of them? You could reminisce and think about ways to support his family? I would imagine his family would be comforted to know how you felt and that you care.

Two of my friends have lost a parent/in-law this week.

Feeling bereft at the sudden death of a close colleague is completely normal so be kind to yourself.

I’m sorry to hear this. I’ve been my boss’s PA for 18 months but I really love her and would be devastated if she suddenly died.
I was quite affected by the sudden death of a neighbour recently. He was only in his 40s with a young family, a lovely friendly man, but I didn’t really know him. I think the sudden early death of anyone you know is always going to have an effect - even if it’s just because it reminds you of your own mortality.

What a shock, totally understandable to be upset OP in the circumstances OP. take it easy

OP, I'm really sorry to hear this. Please don't feel you have to play down your shock and grief. You are absolutely entitled to feel this way, especially as he was a wonderful man. Take care of yourself today 💐

We spend a great deal of time with our work colleagues and develop close friendships with them, so it is fully understandable that you feel shocked and sad. In addition a sudden death at that age hits us all hard and is a reminder of our mortality and that of our loved ones.

I am sorry that this has happened.

Sorry to hear this OP. Several years ago I lost my line manager to cancer and she was in her 40s. We knew she was deteriorating, but the shock of losing such a wonderful woman so young was immense.

We made sure as a team we spoke regularly, and HR were very good about giving us time out if we were struggling.

Is it a big organisation where your boss was widely known? Another thing that got us through it, and gave us something to focus on, was to create an electronic 'book' with memories and pictures from friends and colleagues. We sent a copy to her family after the funeral to show them how much she was loved.

OP, you poor thing! So sorry for your loss, that’s so sad. Only 50!

Of course this would be a shock, and really destabilising - and that’s before any grief. If my boss died, I’d be broken - he’s one of my favourite people (don’t tell him that, obviously).

We spend so much time at work, our colleagues naturally become our daily landscape and comrades-in-arms. Sending hugs.

Thanks everyone. It's just so hard to wrap my head around. Keep just thinking about how I just said the usual "have a great weekend" and then that was just it. Its very haunting; not knowing that would be the last time I would see/ speak to him and not being able to say good bye or tell him how much I thought of him. Yes he had been at the company for 30 years and is well respected and known by so many people. He was really one of a kind. Didn't have a bad bone in his body xx

I am so sorry. What a terrible thing for everyone; he sounds like a lovely man.

Sorry for your loss.
My manager and colleague of over 15 years died unexpectedly in march and I miss him and his dry humour. He was my work "breakfast buddy" and literally less than a month away from early retirement (60yo) and had lots of plans to travel with his wife. I felt like I'd lost a close friend and was unable to attend his funeral as I had covid. It was so hard for his family to lose him, especially when he was so close to finally fulfil his plans.

We created an online condolences book at work where colleagues from around the world could upload photos and memories of him from his 30 years with the company. We then got it printed and shared it with his widow.

This is so sad and maybe avoidable. Any men in your lives over 40 get them to the GP for health checks or pay privately as many men die prematurely when a health check may have avoided this.

My line manager died during Covid (not of Covid). She was the same age as me. we had kids of similar ages and had friends in common. We got on well.
I was surprised at how upset I was when I heard she'd died.