My Dad died a week ago, it was expected, he had been ill for a while and tbh I thought I was coping well with it, but I have hit the weekend and now I am struggling.
Funeral is all arranged, I think we have to still do the Will bits, but my sibling is dealing with that, so its not something I can get involved with and take my mind off things, which I think organising the funeral helped with.
I just keep getting waves of sadness hitting me and I dont really want to deal with work tomorrow. I have had some serious mental health problems in the past, and I recognise that some are coming back (not wanting to leave my house) so I know I have to get my arse into work tomorrow. But fucking hell its hard.
I have excellent support round me, I think alot of this has come from the fact we have told people now, because of the funeral, so its on social media, whereas before I could just ignore it had happened.
I am not sure what I really want tbh. We are lucky in the fact that we never really have had to deal with death before, its been years since the last one in my family and I have no real idea how the fuck I meant to deal with this as an adult.