Going through the worst day when best friend is going through the best.

[anicecuppateaa]

Oh the irony. Late Dd’s birthday and best friend is in hospital giving birth. I feel like I’ve suffered enough and wonder why of all the bloody days, it has to be the same day. The saddest day of my life will forever be the happiest of hers. I want to be (and think I am being) a good, supportive friend. But man I feel cross and jealous too of all of the experiences I expected and didn’t have.

Anyone around to handhold over the next few days?

Oh gosh that’s bloody horrendous timing. I’m so sorry and so sorry for your loss 😢

I’m here op. How bittersweet.
im so sorry your dd is no longer with you, it’s not bloody fair.

would you like to talk about her?

no pressure at all to do so. We can talk about anything you want.
love and hugs to you 😘

That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. 😢

My new partner's birthday is the day my best friend died and I find that hard.

I can't imagine how painful this is for you.

Huge hugs and hand hold
Xx

Our twins died in neonatal just before a close family members wedding where we both had roles and then my closest friend announces her pregnancy around their due date. Both were really tough but now 10 years down the line it is much easier. Sounds cheesy but time is a healer. For example i dont haven think about it now when i see my friends super tall almost 11 year old! sending hugs

Isn’t there still the possibility that the birth could be long and the baby delivered tomorrow? Although I imagine at around the same day will be hard. I’m so sorry for you and your child x

Thanks for all the support. The kindness of strangers is so heartwarming. I’ve tried to be a bit more open this year (about the birthday) and told a few work colleagues and also friends, all of whom knew me when she died but their support seems so temporary and rushed.

I’m lucky to have other (younger) dc so am often distracted from what happened, but this year it feels so hard and I’m only just keeping it together. I’ve come out for a breather and am currently sampling one of the new m&s outrageously chocolatey biscuits in the car.

@ThomasinaLivesHere her birthday is actually tomorrow, so I am hedging my bets a bit and expecting baby to come tomorrow. I would be thrilled for both of us if it happened today instead.

@Josette77 I’m so sorry about your friend, that must be such a difficult reminder and I imagine you also wonder why his birthday is that day!

@clareykb I’m so sorry about your twins. We spent many months in nicu too and I found pregnant women/ announcements/ babies so triggering afterwards so imagine that wedding was so hard for you.

I'm so so sorry. My SIL lost a baby at the exact time that both me and her other SIL got pregnant. It was very very hard to navigate, but we never forgot that her bereavement was as real and valid as our joy. Your friend will feel the same I'm sure, but that doesn't help you today.

Life can be really cruel like that at times and I'm sorry this has had to happen on your DD's day, but hopefully you can find some joy in the new life too.

I'm so sorry OP sending you lots of virtual love and support.
It's absolutely ok if you want to switch off your phone and let tomorrow be all about remembering your DD.
Grief is wretched but I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.
Enjoy the biscuits. Have as many as you want!

That's such a blow for you. I'm so sorry you lost your DD.

Having a younger DC doesn't make up for the pain of the loss.

Sending love ❤and remembering your DD who will always be special.

I'd like to say happy birthday to your darling DD for tomorrow, OP. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry Op - life can be extra shitty at times. Hoping the baby comes today and sending you love on your DDs birthday for tomorrow.

Thinking of you, OP. X

Thanks everyone. The baby did come today. I am thrilled for them but so sad for me and angry at the world about dd. Wondering why this had to happen to us and why I have flowers today and not a house full of kids at a party.

But we have just about made it through the day. Somehow I will figure out how to navigate the new complications of this day, and be the good friend I should be.

I’m sorry @anicecuppateaa . That’s so tough. Wishing you well 💐

I'm so sorry @anicecuppateaa, it's incredibly hard to navigate. DH died on my son's (DH's step son) birthday so I do understand a little of how hard it is. Wishing your daughter a happy birthday for tomorrow and wishing you peace.

So sorry @anicecuppateaa - wishing you strength.

Can you perhaps think of this as being a special connection to your daughter. It's such an awful thing to happen to you and don't feel bad about being angry , but perhaps if you navigate it somehow with the thought that it brings you closer together with that date that connects them both

I'm probably making no sense as tbh I have utter admiration for anyone that manages to put one foot in front of the other in these circumstances

My step granddaughter was born on the day my son would have been six.... I know how you feel... Big hugs xx