Not wanting to see surviving siblings.

[woolshop]

Hi all
First time poster. Just wondering if others have felt this way…. DF deceased many years ago. DM, DBrothes x2 and DSister x1 have died in last 8 years. Youngest DB aged 47 died 2 months ago. 3 siblings still alive. I would say we are a close family brought together by siblings struggles with cancer, supporting them and then grieving their deaths.
The remaining family are getting together for Christmas and I don’t want to see them.
I do live in another state so it is a days travel and have seen them all quite a few times in the last few months due to hospice visits/ funeral of sibling that just died.
The family share a cancer gene that surviving siblings and extended family are dealing with. I am negative for the gene.
Just really don’t feel like being around it,
although I feel I should be wanting to see everyone to see how they are going especially brothers wife/children aged 10-17.
Just wondering if others have been through something similar and to know it’s normal to be want to be alone.

I think after all that trauma around when you have seen your siblings I am not surprised you want to be alone. I don't blame you.
Might this be a chance to have some new memories that aren't surrounded by so much sadness though?
I don't know.

I do get the wanting to be alone though sometimes you need a break from everything.