I found out today my friend died.
She is such a close part of my children's early childhood. Her oldest son 10 months older than my oldest dd.
We spent so much time together. She was the first person not present at. Birth who held my younger 3. In the case of dd2 she was only 3 hours old. Dd2 was a home birth and dd1 had gone to my friend at 5 am as I was in labour. I have such a clear memory of her holding dd2 looking at me and saying. This is only the 2nd time I've held a 3 hour old baby.
I was the first to know she was expecting her dd2. I knew even before her dh who was working away. She came over to ours and just stood by the front door with a goofy smile and the positive pregnancy test.
We went to New York together her and I and her 3rd my 4th who are 3 months apart. I recall us laughing so much and over eating.
She is ds godmother
She moved away when her dhs job changed. Our interaction became First regular phone calls and yearly meetings then filtered put to texts and only calls for important events. In 2021 we spent a long weekend in Ba th and agreed we would make a trip away a 5 yearly thing. We were already planning where to go in 26. I took one photo for this trip a very rare selfie of my and her and I'm so happy I did. We are grinning at the camera and she has her bright blue hair.
Each time we met up again it was like no time had passed. It was just one of my dearest closest friends.. I know stuff about her even her dh doesn't know and visa versa.
When the call came and her dh said whom he was on that unknown number I knew immediately why else would he contact me.
Last contact we had was me sending her a video of dd1 getting engaged. She sent a thumbs up. Usually this meant ahe was ever busy and she would call soon. That call never came. I know now she passed shortly after.
I just can't believe it she was "my.person" the one I was meant to have right there in my corner because we had chosen it that way.
I want to hug her 4 kids so much and yet I'm in the other end of the country to them. I don't know how her youngest aged 17 can even navigate all this life without her mum. I want to tell all 4 of them how our conversation always focused on how our 8 kids were doing. And yet I know they know.
She had cancer in 2014 said it changed her outlook on life and she wanted to live each moment.
I just can't quite believe she is gone. My head is spinning memory after memory and with it the k owledge she is gone.
Dd1 dd2 and ds want to come to the funeral. Dd3 was so young when she moved away she was not really a part of her childhood like the older 3
I just needed to write all this down.
I will miss you so Nic