My dads dying, I can't bare it anymore

[themambonumber5]

Hi, sorry if it’s irrelevant to the page but my dad is in hospital and is dying he is ready to go any moment/day now, he is confused and in and out of consciousness and just in pain. The focus is making him comfortable. But I don’t know how anyone deals with this kind of pain, my heart just hurts to the point where I don’t think I will ever be able to cope with knowing he will never be in my life again. I feel like I will never be able to stop crying. I’m a carer and have lost so many clients and family’s always seem so strong and accepting of what is happening but I just don’t know how to be that person. I am not ready to say goodbye. And I just don’t know how I will ever not feel like this. I just love him so much. I have a toddler he has just turned two, I don’t know how I’m going to be his mam when I’m just so broken, I don’t want any part of Christmas because I will just feel guilt but I want my son to enjoy that it’s all about.

I feel like I’m losing the vitality of my life by losing him. My partner lost his mam years ago (before I knew him) and he said he never grieved his mam, which I know is sad but I don’t know I kind of want to hear that this is how most people feel when losing a parent so that I know it will get a bit better. But I honestly don’t know if my heart will ever stop hurting and he’s not even gone yet.

I didn't mean to put "sorry if it's irrelevant to the page" sorry it's just I've posted it else where that's why.

You’ll survive and be happy again. But for now just focus on being with your lovely Dad

I'm so sorry OP. Try not to think ahead to how things are going to be. Just focus on giving him love right now. And if it starts to overwhelm you, find out about where you can get support for yourself. The hospital may be able to signpost you to help.

It takes strength to ask for help, but it is worth it. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Oh love, I lost my Dad last week and the last week of his life while he was in hospital was the most pain I have ever felt.
I am single Mum of two and I honestly thought I wouldn't have the strength to keep going after he did die. All I can say is the bare minimum is okay for a while. I am back at work on Monday and I don't even have a date for my dad's funeral yet,the limbo is awful

I found the palliative care team were really helpful in helping with how to cope with grief and children. Your little one is younger than mine so won't understand what's happening as much.

It's going to be okay, my son who is ten summed it up he said the pain stays the same but you just get braver everyday and I think he is right.

I am so, so sorry, Themam, and have some empathy with you. I can't add anything to what has already been said but I do understand how difficult this situation is for you and your much loved dad.

Oh darling, this was me with my Nan. My one true friend. My life.

You will survive and you shall cope. It's an horrific step by step daily.

I'm always still chatting to my Nan 6 years on. She didn't want to leave me, your Dad doesn't want to leave you.

The kindest thing you can do when the time comes is to let him know it's okay, it's okay to go. To go a rest peacefully.

All my love.

Sending you gentle hugs OP
i was on here late one night nearly 6 years ago and mnetters saved me that night cos I was just… in floods of tears no knowing what to do and in desperation reached out here
I still take each day as it comes. Each hour, each minute when it is bad but i have no family so dwelling on it when I am always by my own is no good for me

I use a app called “happy color” it is free crayoning and it keeps my brain occupied and calm and I can do it whilst listening to music

you will get through this, it may no be pretty but you will and take each day as it comes and remember to breathe deep when it gets overwhelming xxx

Lost my mum ( she had been my single parent), when I was 42. It broke my heart. I still think of her all the time ( 7 years later). It would have been her birthday tomorrow.
Don't try to think ahead. Just allow the feelings to flow, don't try to suppress them. You will cope, one way or another. All the best,

So sorry
My dad died last year and I have two kids who are now 7 and 2
One moment and day at a time . I miss my dad every day but I do think fondly of him and still feel that he is very much a part of me and my life even though he isn't physically here with me. He will always be with you x

Tell him you love him. It'll help you in the months to come.

You'll get through it, hour at a time if a day is too much.

Sending love and strength.