The Loneliness of Grief

[Yoyoyo1]

Grief is a lonely place to be.

Surrounded by people, but flailing around in the shallows and depth of grief.

Smiling and saying, 'I'm doing ok'. People saying, 'at least he's not in pain anymore' and 'he had a good life'.

But I don't want him not here, I want him here. Dad, you loved Christmas and sparkly lights. Why do you not get to enjoy it this year? I never believed you would go.

You held me when I was born and said, 'welcome to the world'. I sat next to you, on my own, when you died.

Miss you, Dad. You were loved, and we'll always love you.

That's a nice tribute, it comes across that you loved and love him very much.

I'm sorry he's not here for Christmas.

May he rest in peace. As a PP said, it comes across that you loved him dearly. I’m sorry for your loss.

I also think that (if you haven’t decided this already) you should not go all out for Christmas this year as you need time to focus on yourself and your feelings on your first Christmas without your Dad.

That said, grief is different for everyone and if for some reason you would benefit from hosting and putting on a show then more power to you. I just mean be kind to yourself and be open with others if you don’t feel up to anything this year.

My dear Mum died suddenly in August this year. I don't know how I've got through the weeks since then. It's a physical pain in my heart. I feel terrible still. To be in this world without my mum is just heartbreaking. 😔

I lost my Dad in January, and I still can't believe the pain from it. I desperately miss him, and the thought of Christmas is unbearable but I'm trying to put a brave face on. This time last year he was still at home but went into a hospice in December.

I hear you, OP and I'm sorry for everyone's losses

My Dad died last week. Gosh the pain is indescribable. I just feel numb! I've not cried for a day and think what's wrong with me! I feel nothing, empty!

its true, grief is lonely. Christmas is harder because it’s difficult to get into the spirit of joy and celebration when we miss them
so much. My brother died in June, I would normally be writing my Christmas cards soon, but this year I won’t be posting his. That sounds like a little thing but it’s huge to me. We normally have a siblings and partners meal out beginning of December, none of us have the heart for it this year, can’t bear the empty place at the table.

Lots of people hear you here. It helps to know you're not alone. My dad died when I was 22 after a long illness. My mum died 7 years ago this Christmas. It gets better than the physical pain in your heart but it's ok to be grumpy at Christmas because by god it hurts. Xc

Your post made me cry. I miss my gentle lovely dad and wish he was here to enjoy the family times too. Sorry for your loss - the pain and isolation of deep grief is one of the worst things ever. 😔

Feel this so deeply.

Your dad sounds lovely and I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is a lonely path but knowing that others are holding you in their hearts can help a little and there are many, many good thoughts being sent your way. xx💐