Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Struggling to support my grieving friend

1 reply

Mamabear04 · 05/11/2023 22:23

I'm really struggling to support my friend who's infant child passed (under 2 years) away not long ago. Without going into detail it was very unexpected and sudden and I'm still very much in shock myself. Our children are all ages and I can't get my head around what's happened and that my DC little friend has gone. Since it's happened I've gone into automatic support and assist mode, passing on the news to wider friendship groups, dropping off food, taking the older children for playdates, going for walks so that she can just talk. I'm honored to be able to help in whatever way I can but I'm honestly finding everything she has to say so hard to hear and I feel incredibly guilty because how unimaginable is what she's going through? I can't even bare to think about what she's feeling. How do I keep my head when I am starting to feel myself wobble? I want to stay strong for her but don't know how to do it. I have also lost 3 friends this past year all in very sudden and unexpected ways and every time I think that life has turned a page something awful has happened. I don't think I've been able to deal with my own grief re my friends and now I have to somehow grieve a child too. It's too much but also not anything what my friend is going through. My head is all over the place. I don't have time to take to process any of this as I have young kids myself. How am I meant to navigate all this?

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 05/11/2023 22:31

Who do you have who could support YOU? Read up on circles of grief - you're allowed to go out so people who are less connected than you need to be helping you in the same way.

Your parents / DH / friends from a different circle... talk to them and ask for help in case they don't realise the emotional load you're taking from your friend needs to go somewhere

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread