BIL's MIL's funeral - to take DC?

[Jelllytot]

Helloo

My BIL's MIL sadly passed away a few weeks ago. BIL has just sent a message in the family group to say the funeral will be on Sunday and the time and location etc. He didn't specify who should go etc

DH will probably go to be there for his brother but we have a 7 month old. DC is generally quite well behaved but what's the etiquette here? I don't want her to be disruptive of course. And also DH and BIL are not very close if that is of any relevance.

Thank you x

I wouldn't take a 7 month old to a funeral, especially one that isn't a very close family member.

Your DD may be very well behaved but she won't be silent for the service. Even happy baby sounds would be inappropriate and draw attention to you and your DD.

Unless you have someone to watch DD, I'd suggest your DH goes alone.

I would go, dh goes in but you wait outside with your little one unless he specifically tells you to come in, then be in a place you can get out quickly. It will mean a lot to him you came I suspect. Babies are easier than toddlers

Unless you are particularly close I can't imagine going to my BIL's MIL's funeral ... did you actually know her?

I wouldn't expect you or your DH to go unless you were well acquainted with your BILs MIL? Perhaps DH at a push, but you and the baby I wouldn't think would be required.

So it's your husband's brother's wife's mother?

I think DH is enough. If you were close to any of them, it would be OK to take the baby, as long as you (or someone) were going to take her outside if she fusses, but I don't think you need to be there.

I wouldn't go and I have taken my dc to loads of funerals.

So it's your husband's brothers wife's mother? Unless you have a direct relationship with her, I wouldn't even consider it.

Yes. Husband's brother's wife's mother.

We didn't know her very well at all, but BIL got married about 4 months ago so we had met her then and our meeting is sort of still fresh if that makes sense.

Thank you all for your replies. DC and I will stay and DH will go

I wouldn’t go to a BILs MILs funeral. Seen as you aren’t close either, I definitely wouldn’t take a baby. They can lighten the mood at the wrong moment and peoples behaviours can be erratic when they are grieving.

Husband goes. You stay home with baby. No need for you both to go and you aren't in the loop enough that taking a baby would be appropriate.

I think young children should only go if very close. The last funeral I went to, the son in laws sister was there but not the sisters partner (and they didn't have kids). At my fil funeral my sister didn't come, never mind her husband (again no kids). I didn't think she should have been there.

I think it's fine for just your DH to go and support his brother / represent the family, and you send a supportive message to show you are thinking of them but need to stay with the kids.

I wouldn't go but mainly because you don't sound particularly close so if baby cries it more awkward than if it a grandparents funeral.

No I wouldn't go.

I wouldn't even think to go to BILs MIl funeral.
I read your OP 3 times to check I had the relationship right.

I honestly don't think your DH has to go, especially as they aren't even close. You absolutely do not need to.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I am not going. Just DH will go