Don't know how to go on without my mum

[Xmummy2X]

Hello all whoever listening

I lost my beautiful mum on the 21st this month i was there till very end and didn't look peaceful which haunts me it was then my birthday on 23rd and that was so hard then funeral planning and registering death etc but don't seem real and im ok then floods of tears i feel im stood still while the whole world around me still carrys on i have beautiful children one who im full time carer for but i just feel so lonely and like can't carry on in this world my mum fixed everything had all the answers she was my best friend and only friend to be honest felt ill since she been gone

She helped me and was my only support with my son
She helped me as suffer mental health and physical health issues
Im in privately rent and not sure how long can afford this place or when be chucked out she would have all the answers and i felt so safe now feel the only way out is to be with her again

Please tell me things/life get easier

I’m so sorry. My mum died in May - a few days before my sister’s birthday.

The main thing I’d say to you right now, especially since it’s only been a week, is not to make any major decisions based on the way you’re currently feeling. Yes, it’s fucking shit. No, it’s not fair. You’re grieving and how you feel right now - however it is - is a completely reasonable reaction to losing your mum.

Be as kind to yourself as you can, acknowledge how you’re feeling and give yourself time. I’m 5 months in now & while it’s all still there, it’s a lot less powerful.

Lost my amazing Mum on Thursday. So so hard. I don't have anything helpful to say, but I know how you're feeling.

I'm so sorry OP. Try and take an hour/a day at a time.

Thank you for your reply

Sorry for your loss 💐

Just feel don't have anything to live for my mum made me do everything get up, keep going, take us out, everything

Thank you will try be kind to myself ❤️🙏💐

So so sorry you lost your mum Thursday all i can say is im here and thinking of you 💐💐💐💐 x

Thank you so much thats what im telling myself hour by hour what more can i possibly do 😢 thank you for kind words 🙏🙏💐💐

So sorry for all of your losses. My DM died 8 years ago now and I can tell you that it absolutely will get better. It’s so raw for you right now and that’s normal, let it happen. Gradually you will heal but there will be an emotional scar. This really helped me.
https://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com/blog/grief-explained-by-an-old-man

I feel the same, my dad died on the 18th and it was my birthday on the 15th I feel like I’m never going to stop being sad. He was the only person I had, I don’t see how I will ever stop hurting.

You're sort of in the aftermath of an earthquake, your landscape has changed and it's all devastation right now. But it won't be that way forever, you'll pick yourself up and rebuild. Things won't be the same but there is a bright future.

Be gentle with yourself in this bit as you deal with the shock and jarringness of it.

Longer term, your mum presumably didn't give up when her mum died. She didn't put all that love and effort into you for you to just flop over when she's gone. You're her legacy, be proud of yourself and share the love she gave you around.

Thank you i will give this read but i will never get over her she was my everything it hurts so so much but like you said still so raw im glad helped you hopefully can help me in time sending 💐💐

Longer term, your mum presumably didn't give up when her mum died. She didn't put all that love and effort into you for you to just flop over when she's gone. You're her legacy, be proud of yourself and share the love she gave you around.

So true. You’ll get to this stage OP. Right now, cling on to the wreckage. One foot in front of the other, do what you need to do and in time you will feel better.

So sorry you feel the same 💐💐 sorry for your loss 💔💔

Her mum my nan is still alive my mum was only 57 so don't know if that was right thing to say 😢💔😔

Ahh bless you. I'll be honest - I coped by ignoring it as much as I could. Just blanked it out. Like you I was there at the end.

it's been a year now and I still try to ignore it but I also can think nice things again. Such as she had a favourite perfume which I now have and when I spray it I always say hi mum and have a little moment.

I use her tea towels that she was very fussy over and if I stain one I can see her disapproving face and it makes me smile.

these are very small things I know but time is truly a healer and you find a way through xxx

OP you’re right, you will never get over the loss because you loved each other deeply and rightly so. You will be able to live with the loss and find strength through what she taught you . There will be joy ahead.

My mum mum is still alive my mum was only young i was there till the end i watched what look liked torture not peaceful, she was my only friend best friend i didn't trust or let anyone else in even though have so much love and i am very kind hearted 💐💐🙏🙏😔😢

So young OP, that is extra hard. Do you have a good relationship with your grandmother?

Im sorry you ignore it

There is no right or wrong way but is it healthy to ignore it or will it come back and bite you years later who knows but it works right now

Im glad you can smile aswell 🤗

Im sorry for your loss 💐💐

Yes she was young 😢 too young to go too young to get ill and pass the way she did 😔

No not very good relationship she hurt us all and let us down in this moment in need and feel she let my mum down we was told she was dying and she never came back up to see her and told her she had changed will all to her brother we didn't give a crap about money as not well of anyway but it was fact she told my mum that while she was dying 😔😔😢😢

Thank you we did love each other dearly she was my go to if had problems felt she could fix them i do hope there be joy down the line but right now don't feel that way 😔😔💐💐