When it comes out of nowhere!

[CharlotteBog]

My Mum died in Jan 2010.
I think I have grieved in healthy way - not tried to fight it, talked about her, spoken up when it's been hard, acknowledged difficult aspects of our relationship, marked anniversaries.
nb. I don't think there's a wrong way to grieve, I'm just saying that I think my experience has been OK.

Was driving yesterday and a song I have not heard in years and years came on.
The tears started with no warning at all. An overwhelming sadness, but also a feeling of good memories and nostalgia.

I was on my way to a fitness class so I did need to pull myself together. I think I looked a little glassy eyed, and I would have been fine if someone had asked me if I was OK.

I'm glad I had the class; lifting weights to music with friends was a good tonic.

There's no point to this post really, it just feels good to type it out.

I also lost my mum in Jan 2010, feels like both forever ago and also like yesterday, it is strange at times I can't believe it has been so long.

My DM only died recently but DDad died in 2009 and even today, the odd song on the radio gives me a tear in the eye. certain Christmas songs (that's when he died) and a couple of his favourites. This happens because our memories of that person remain clear. We never forget them. As you have discovered, it is possible to feel sadness and happiness simultaneously. Charlotte, you'll probably still get the odd tear in your eye in 20 years time and that's fine.

I read a lovely interview with one of Kirsty MacColl's sons a few years ago. He said that the best thing about this time of year is hearing 'Fairytale Of New York' on the radio and in the shops. He still had a little cry now and then but always thought of it as a sign that his mum wasn't far away.