Oh dear.
Very very sad. It is coming up to James birthday and deathday this month, it will be one year, we are bracing ourselves too.
Sending you my warmest thoughts and strength for a difficult time, it is very hard not to think there for the grace of god go I.
I am still very tearful, cry at the strangest of things, and honestly it isnt any easier now than then, the shock was awful too, I expect that is the worse thing for little ones to understand if it was quick.
Take care and try and be strong, we have found that the children have some inner calmness about the whole thing, the circumstances are awful and not what I feel I can go into even now.
Maybe the children of the deceased mother have a father who can make sure they all sit down and talk whenever they want to. There is counselling which has helped my sister in law.
It is strange tho I almost felt guilty for feeling so awful and lost, I mean he wasnt my son. I suppose we all feel it deeply when we think of our own children losing us, unthinkable.
Take care and check out some bereavement sites, some are better than others, some are very focused on faith, but there are some which are practical and helpful. Good luck.
xx