Miss my friend

[MakeItRain]

A close friend of mine died at the beginning of the year. She was so lovely and I miss her. It feels so unreal that she's not here. I don't even know what I want from posting. I lost my dad a few years ago. That grief was different, so awful and intense, but it lessened over the years. Losing my friend seems more incomprehensible somehow and leaves me questioning what life is all about 😢 It's not the scary intense feeling I had when my dad died but it's a sadness that I keep coming back to. Has anyone else experienced this and does the feeling ever change?

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know if the feeling of grief ever does go away, but you will get better at carrying it and it won’t always feel this heavy. It is a scary scary feeling, but you will be okay OP.
Sending so much love to you xx

I know exactly how you feel. The best friend I ever had moved away when we were 15, and this was long before the Internet or cell phones. His family life was very far from ideal, and he had a lot of sadness he carried around. After he moved, we would keep in touch occasionally with calls and letters, but it was sporadic at best, and even more sporadic after he moved again in a very short period of time.

A year after he first moved he killed himself. His older sister took the time to find my number and ring, and this was three weeks after the fact. I've never stopped grieving him or missing him. I'll always be angry that he was never able to live the life he deserves. I'm angry that no one protected him from his arsehole of a father. I'm 50 now and I don't think there has been a day I haven't thought of him.

I really do understand how you feel and I'm sorry.

Thank you, both of you for taking the time to respond and share your thoughts. Sorry that you have both experienced grieving for people you have loved. 😥

I haven’t been through this myself luckily, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for your loss

I lost my friend in January. I think about her every single day, and can't believe that the person I had in my life for nearly 40 years is gone. I cry for her, for her young children, for everything we'll never say to each other again. I was with her just a few hours before she died (cancer), and I see her in that hospital bed when I close my eyes and hope she knew I loved her, I hope I said the right things. I can't compare it to the loss of a parent as mine are still here, but I hope you feel less alone knowing there are others that feel such grief at the loss of their friends.

1stTimeMama Thank you for posting. I also knew my friend for over 40 years. How sad that your friend leaves young children. Cancer is the most dreadful thing. Your friend will have known you loved her and I'm sure her children will appreciate being able to talk with you about their mum as they grow older.

I lost a friend nearly three years ago. She was far too young to die and in fact it shouldn’t have happened. I’ve never grieved about anyone the way I still grieve about her. There’s no closure for me, the funeral was during covid restrictions and I don’t know her family. Every so often it overcomes me.