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Poison Pen Text

5 replies

Lena1899 · 15/09/2023 19:13

Hello All,
It was my late Mum’s funeral yesterday.
She was of an advanced age and it was a small gathering as so many of her contemporaries had pre deceased her.
It was a lovely service though and everyone who mattered was there or represented by other family.
We decided not to hold a wake.
my uncle and a cousin had travelled a long way and stayed over the night before. We were not holding a wake but I’d have been happy to go for a meal with them but when I asked I was told they were going straight back.
we parted company amicably.
However, not long afterwards I received what I can only describe as a poison pen via a text from my Aunty who hadn’t attended the funeral.
I was shocked at the absolute bile thrust at me on the day I’d buried my mother and all over a cup of tea!

OP posts:
Shield1990 · 18/09/2023 10:45

Hello, first of all I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected after such a difficult and sad time. That is awful someone thought to send you such a horrible message (over such a trivial thing) when you have enough to be dealing with, rest assured it says more about them than you. I wouldn't engage with them other than to possibly say I'm sorry you feel that way and leave it at that.
I always find it easier to forgive things blurted out verbally in the heat of emotion as can attribute that to emotions running high etc but I always think it takes real deliberate thought to send awful messages.
Sorry you've had to have that on top of everything, sending love x

AfterMum · 18/09/2023 22:17

That's awful. So sorry 😞

sleepwouldbenice · 18/09/2023 22:53

Truly awful
As others have said either no reply or a very short 'apologies for you not getting a cup of tea, must have been devastating for you'
Or if yiu have a mutual relative who can put them back in their place
Focus on you, nothing else matters

DisquietintheRanks · 19/09/2023 18:09

Generally it is considered courteous to offer hospitality to those who travel to attend a funeral - and you did that by inviting them to dine with you.

Please dont let your Aunt's spite distract from whatever solace the funeral may have given you.

HerMammy · 19/09/2023 18:19

It is customary to have some
kind of tea/lunch especially for those who have travelled to be there, did you offer to go to lunch with them?

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