Feeling guilty about Christmas

[Worrywart70]

My dad passed away suddenly a few months ago. I am starting to come to terms with it although have many ups and downs.

I usually really look forward to autumn and winter and all things Christmassy, I've found myself feeling guilty every time I look forward to Christmas as he won't be here and it brings my mood back down. I feel like we are going to be having a nice time without him.

I have a young child so want to be excited for him but this lingering guilty is there.

Is this normal? It will be our first Christmas without him so I'm not sure if maybe it's that.

So sorry for your loss. I think your father would want you to enjoy Christmas with your little one. So there is nothing to feel guilt about, you can tell your child all about your childhood Christmas. They might be too young this year but I tell my children every year about my memories!

Christmas changed as those we love pass away. This year is going to be different for you and I'm so sorry that you've lost your Dad. Did you do something with your Dad of is there something about Christmas that he particularly enjoyed that you could continue with your own DC?

Hopefully you always loved Christmas because you had nice Christmasses as a child and as an adult. There may have been a point in those years that your dad lost his parents and was feeling like you feel now but still gave you happy days and lovely Christmas memories. I think that tells you that they'd want you to do the same now. Create happy memories with the next generation, don't feel guilty because that's not what your dad would want for you. Let your child grow to love all things Christmassy too!
I'm really sorry for your loss.

Your father wouldn't want you to feel guilt. I do understand where you are coming from though. Christmas has never been the same for me since a significant bereavement and I'd rather just ignore the whole thing. I keep up appearances for the children though. I can tell you it will get easier in time and you'll almost certainly start to find joy in it again, but it is never quite the same.

I think it's wonderful that you still feel able to look forward to Christmas. It will absolutely be what your dad would have wanted.

It's possible your feelings may change as Christmas itself gets closer, bereavement has a way of surprising us but just go with it.