I lost my close friend today. How do I deal with the grief?

[Emerald4512]

Hi all. I lost my close friend today, due to bloody cancer. I'm heartbroken, angry, devastated, confused, exhausted and then at times I'm completely normal for about 5 minutes as if nothing has happened. I have dealt with many deaths in my life so far, some expected, such as grandparents, some far too young, but this one really hurts.

She was only 58, kids in their mid 20s and early 30s. She will never meet her grandchildren or watch her children get married. It is just so unfair and actually just cruel. I don't know what to do with this pain.

I'm so sorry @Emerald4512.

Would you like to talk about her here?

Friends are so important - but sometimes other people don't realise just how important. I am so sorry to read this, and I hope that you get the support you need.

Your close friend was the same age my mum was when she died from cancer. A month after her passing I found out I was pregnant with my first child. Losing my best friend, my mother, and then finding out I was about to become a mother was up there with the weirdest feelings I have ever felt. Grief is crushing and personal. Everyone deals with it differently. Don't beat yourself up when you're 'fine' and don't try to fight the tears. Just take every day as it comes and feel every emotion you're feeling. The sad yet somehow comforting truth is that one day your grief becomes your new normal. You still miss that person greatly and nothing can ever fill the hole they left behind, but you just get used to having that hole there, apart of you.

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss ♥️

I'm so sorry for your loss.x

I'm so sorry. I lost one of my best friends to a brain tumour when she was 46. She was only 6 weeks older than me, and we net through our sons at the school gate. I did feel a bit of an imposter to grief after she died. "Friend" doesn't seem to carry the weight of "wife", "mother", "daughter", but I still had a great loss, a great hole in my life. I dealt with the grief by screaming and crying a lot. And running - time outside, time to myself.

Thank you everyone for your replies, it means alot. Its making a lonely night seem less lonely. ❤️‍🩹

My ex-husband walked out on me and my 6 month old boy about 4 years ago and she was the one friend who if I called at midnight, she'd be round. And she did, on more than one occasion. She was so fiercely loyal, and funny. The idea that I'll never be able to call her on my way to work, every Tuesday and Thursday, is just crushing. I can't imagine what her children (and mother!) must be feeling.

The 'new normal' feels like life is never going to be as good as it once was. I'm sorry for everyone else's losses on here too 😔

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads 46 is just no age! The one thing I keep coming back to is thank god its not my children. But yes, it doesn't carry the same weight as 'wife' etc and so as I've been sobbing tonight I almost feel like I'm being dramatic, but the pain is real.

I am so sorry you lost your friend. She sounds like she was such an amazing friend to you. I hope your relationship with her children carries on in your friend's memory. 💐

@determinedtomakethiswork I promised my friend I would be there for her daughter, for as long as she would let me. 🩷

I’m so sorry. I lost a good friend a couple of months ago in a horrific car crash. It affected me much more than the death of my mother (who was nearly 90). I often think we should be able to have bereavement leave for friends as well as close family.

I lost my best friend at the age of 41, nearly 10 years ago, and the loss still crushes me 😢. I agree with PP that the loss of friends is very minimised and it’s so sad. Sending much love and sympathy - take time to grieve and maybe think of ways to remember her x

I have 9 close friends and the thought of losing them absolutely horrifies me . Am so sorry OP ,it will take a while for you to process your friend’s death💐

@Emerald4512 I feel ur pain I lost my nan just over 2 weeks ago and it was the funeral today I'm sorry u lost ur friend

I still see my friend's son a lot, as he is still my son's best friend. I see her daughter (her absolutely spit) and widower a but too. When the children are older, I will tell them quite how brilliant their mother was.