Is this normal?

[Strawberry8821]

My Dad died about a week ago after a long period of illness. Although it was expected it was still a shock and the first evening I cried a lot. However, since then, I’ve been busy with the funeral arrangements, helping my Mum with admin, and looking after my own children in the summer holidays.

I feel completely numb. Like it was something that has happened to someone else. Talking about it I don’t feel particularly sad, just like it’s surreal.

Is it normal to feel like this????? Will it hit me later on? How long?

Yes, totally normal to feel like that when you lose someone dear to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Everyone grieves differently, and I remember being on a sort of numb autopilot for several weeks afterwards. Be kind to yourself xx

I'm sorry about your dad.

There is no timeline but numbness is normal - it's your brain protecting you while you start to process the loss.

https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information/support-for-yourself/how-long-does-grief-last

Yes normal. It's a sort of protective shock reaction.

100% normal. It's like you just go on automatic pilot doing what needs to be done. Before my Dad died I would go to funerals & think the family were so amazing, so strong to be there talking to everyone etc. It wasn't til I went through it I realised its not amazing it's just your numb.

I made all the phone calls notifying everyone he'd died. It was sudden & unexpected so most people were completely shocked but I explained everything time & again. On automatic pilot. I remember thinking I couldn't believe it was MY DAD I was so calmly talking about

There'll come a point - for me it was after the funeral & when I'd moved back to my own flat that it hit me. Boy did it hit me. And then it was my turn to grieve and be supported

Itll come. Sorry for your loss x

Thank you so much everyone. I was beginning to feel like I was such an awful person for not feeling sad ‘enough’. Hopefully we can get through the next few months. Thanks you for giving your experiences In sorry you’ve also had to go through this.

Thankyou for sharing my lovely DH died just over a year ago and apart from the initial cry I have been unable to really cry. I am busy as we adopted 4 with special needs, the most complex had to go into residential care and I have that guilt to deal with. The remaining 3 have Down Syndrome and have taken it badly!
Like you I am numb. What keeps me going is remembering the happy times and there are many.
Keep going and take care of yourself

Honestly it is very normal. My colleague at work said that she found it much harder after the funeral when the reality of it hit her. I think the reality hit me all along but it is a totally normal response.