It’s only been 4 months since you passed, and it was only this afternoon when I realised! All the time as I was growing up you have been preparing me, to be able to cope with your loss. It seems so obvious now! You lost your dad age 30, when I was 18 months old… you must have looked at me, a tiny babe, and thought.. one day she’ll need to cope without me, I’ll need to prepare her!
All the time now, it’s like you’re with me.. if I’m struggling I know what you would say, how to help me get back on track. I can still hear it! Your advice, your wisdom. It’s all still here!
I understand. I get it now. I look at my children and think “I’ve got to prepare you, to help you cope well, when I’m no longer here!” And that is what you have been doing for me so elegantly and beautifully my whole life. Well, you did it, I’m here, I’m coping! Some very wobbly days and moments but I’m so grateful and I finally understand. Thank you x