@lasciviousoldram Condolences to you. Bereavement is horrific and the only way forward is through.
Be prepared for comments along the lines of "at least he didn't suffer", we heard that so many times and it felt as if they were minimising his death and saying that our loss wasn't as bad as those who had died from an illness.
@Gingerlygreen I think people who are saying this are not saying it to minimise his death or your loss, what they are trying to say is that it can (not now but later) be a source of comfort that your loved one died quickly and painlessly (from their point of view) and that you didn't have to see them suffer (From your point of view).
- * * * content warning re painful death * * *
Many many people (luckily) will never understand truly what this means but if you have witnessed someone dying a slow painful death where they have bone cancer and a deep searing pain that pain relief does not work for or are allergic to very strong pain relief so can't be given anything or are drowning on their own secretions, watching that and feeling your own lack of ability to help as well as their screams of pain is a life changing, very very traumatic thing to see. It lives with you forever.
If you've never witnessed it, count yourself lucky and pray you never do. It is this place that people are coming from when they say that type of thing.
If you've ever seen someone die like that, you would be praying for a quick painless death for yourself and those around you. The lack of time to prepare is shitty for those left behind but honestly it's better than seeing someone die slowly in pain as their own body poisons them. It's more common than you might think because the old 'just up the morphine to send them off' approach post-Shipman and even before that, is a thing of the past.
In time once the shock has subsided, it can be a source of comfort that at least death wasn't like this.