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Bereavement

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My dad died last night

23 replies

lasciviousoldram · 19/07/2023 07:22

I'm in shock. It was so sudden. My mum came back from a class and found my poor dad lying on the kitchen floor. His sandwich was still sat waiting for him on the table next to his armchair.
It breaks my heart that he must have gone to get a drink and just collapsed. We are still waiting for a cause of death but mum is convinced he had a heart attack. I wish we could have said goodbye.
I don't know why I'm posting but I can't bring myself to talk to anyone in real life. I'm just a mess.

OP posts:
Lougle · 19/07/2023 07:23

I'm so sorry. That is a massive shock. Do you have anyone you can be with?

Exasperatednow · 19/07/2023 07:24

I'm so sorry. When my mum died I did the same thing and posted here. It helped to make it real.

Would it help to talk about him?

Popetthetreehugger · 19/07/2023 07:24

O my love I’m so sorry , for you and mum
. are you with your mum ? 💐💐💐

Theforeverhome · 19/07/2023 07:24

I’m so very sorry for your loss Flowers

AbsoIutelyLovely · 19/07/2023 07:24

Gosh that’s awful. You must be in total shock. ❤️

determinedtomakethiswork · 19/07/2023 07:25

I'm so sorry. My dad died in a similar way but I think he was probably older than yours. The way I look at it is this. He wasn't ill. He clearly felt okay up until the last moment because he would've phoned someone otherwise. It can be the best way to die, where you're living your life exactly how you want to write at the last minute. I know though it is a massive shock for the family and friends. I'm so sorry for you. 💐

sandgrown · 19/07/2023 07:26

So sorry for your loss . It’s a terrible shock . Had your dad been ill? X

lasciviousoldram · 19/07/2023 07:26

Thank you. I'm still in shock and it keeps hitting me in waves. It's my mum I feel for being in the house without him. I've just spoken to her and she is bearing up but I don't think it's fully hit her.
DP was great last night and just let me cry on him but he has gone to work this morning as I just want to be on my own. I've got to drop my little boy at school and then im just going to have to get out for a walk.

OP posts:
Mischance · 19/07/2023 07:27

Such a shock for you all. Sending a hug.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 19/07/2023 07:27

Oh op how sad, I’m so sorry for your loss. The suddenness of it makes it harder. Take care of yourself and your mum.

herbygarden · 19/07/2023 07:28

@lasciviousoldram I am so dreadfully sorry. Thinking of you and your family Xxx

MelonsOnSaleAgain · 19/07/2023 07:28

Oh OP. I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s so hard when someone goes suddenly and without warning. The walk sounds like a good idea xx

toomuchlaundry · 19/07/2023 07:29

I’m so sorry 💐

Pashazade · 19/07/2023 07:32

So sorry OP, just be gentle with yourself, there's really no wrong or right for the next few weeks, just whatever keeps you functioning.

MotherOfVizslas · 19/07/2023 07:33

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss, what a horrible shock💔

Tiredandsad1234 · 19/07/2023 07:38

So sorry for your loss, it must be an horrendous shock for you. Make sure to be kind to yourself as well as look after your mum over the next while, and take all the support you get offered. Sadly I am in the same position as you as my mum died suddenly last month.

MaverickSnoopy · 19/07/2023 07:40

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I've just shed a little tear for you. Do you live near your Mum?

Jifmicroliquid · 19/07/2023 08:07

What a dreadful shock for you, I’m so sorry. Xx

JackieQueen · 19/07/2023 08:11

I'm so sorry for your loss op, what a terrible shock 💐

lasciviousoldram · 19/07/2023 08:18

MaverickSnoopy · 19/07/2023 07:40

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I've just shed a little tear for you. Do you live near your Mum?

Thank you. I live about an hour and a half away. I wanted to drive over last night but my mum asked me not to as you she didn't think I should drive in an upset state. I think she went straight into survival mode as the police had to come out as he died at home plus she contacted all Dad's relatives. My sister is with her and I'm on standby to go over as soon as she wants me to. She was due to come and stay with me next week, and is still insistent that she wants to come so at least I can be there for her.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind replies. It is a comfort. Sorry to all those who have also lost someone xxx

OP posts:
Itsjustafly · 19/07/2023 08:36

Ah I really feel for you, I went through the same last month with my Dad, although he died in bed overnight and because he lived alone we didn't know anything was wrong until the next afternoon. Be kind to yourself, cry when you need to. I still feel numb a lot of the time, the shock is so so awful. Thinking of you and your lovely Dad.

Gingerlygreen · 19/07/2023 16:03

So sorry for your loss, my Dad died unexpectedly 10 years ago, Mom found him sitting leaning again the sofa, we thought heart attack too but it turned out to be AAA (Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm), it would have been instant.

The shock is as bad as the grief, we also felt robbed of the chance to say goodbye.

Be prepared for comments along the lines of "at least he didn't suffer", we heard that so many times and it felt as if they were minimising his death and saying that our loss wasn't as bad as those who had died from an illness.

Take care of yourself x

SoSoLost · 31/07/2023 17:24

@lasciviousoldram Condolences to you. Bereavement is horrific and the only way forward is through.

Be prepared for comments along the lines of "at least he didn't suffer", we heard that so many times and it felt as if they were minimising his death and saying that our loss wasn't as bad as those who had died from an illness.

@Gingerlygreen I think people who are saying this are not saying it to minimise his death or your loss, what they are trying to say is that it can (not now but later) be a source of comfort that your loved one died quickly and painlessly (from their point of view) and that you didn't have to see them suffer (From your point of view).

  • * * * content warning re painful death * * *

Many many people (luckily) will never understand truly what this means but if you have witnessed someone dying a slow painful death where they have bone cancer and a deep searing pain that pain relief does not work for or are allergic to very strong pain relief so can't be given anything or are drowning on their own secretions, watching that and feeling your own lack of ability to help as well as their screams of pain is a life changing, very very traumatic thing to see. It lives with you forever.

If you've never witnessed it, count yourself lucky and pray you never do. It is this place that people are coming from when they say that type of thing.

If you've ever seen someone die like that, you would be praying for a quick painless death for yourself and those around you. The lack of time to prepare is shitty for those left behind but honestly it's better than seeing someone die slowly in pain as their own body poisons them. It's more common than you might think because the old 'just up the morphine to send them off' approach post-Shipman and even before that, is a thing of the past.

In time once the shock has subsided, it can be a source of comfort that at least death wasn't like this.

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