What to do with baby son's gravesite?

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone,

We recently lost our son at 21+5 gestation (TFMR). The circumstances of his birth meant that he legally had to have a funeral (we would've wanted one anyway though) and now he has a lovely gravesite in our local cemetery amongst other children and babies. It's nice to see how others have marked their children's graves, we've just got no idea how they've achieved it! Our plot is 2ftx4ft.

Any ideas of how to fix up some low fences (garden border type stuff) so that it won't shift all the time, any ideas of what to put on our plot to honour our special baby Jude.

Low maintenance ideas are most welcome as we're so busy and while we will visit as often as we can there's not necessarily a guarantee of a regular schedule.

Firstly I'd like to say I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. How are you doing? I hope you have lots of support.

I have no experience of arranging a grave but sadly I have friends that have.

Coloured stones look pretty and can be contained by a little fence if you are allowed to have one (some just push into the earth and are secured by little stakes). You can also buy teddies made of stone which are weather proof. If you'd like to flowers but don't want fresh ones, there is a man on FB that makes flowers/arrangements from used drinks cans. His designs are fab and can be personalised. If the cemetery has no restrictions windmills also look pretty xxx

There is a company local to us that specialises in lair design and maintenance. They started in lockdown when people couldn't visit graves regularly and it has grown from there. Could there be something similar near to you?

Check the exact rules for the site - even if parents have put decorations out they may get removed if they don't comply (horrible but it happens). I look after ours (work) and we have some with painted stones which we allow but we don't allow fencing or plastic (everything have to be natural materials). It's possible to get a plaque in natural stone that inlays with different colours of granite to make a sort of rainbow, looked lovely and was compliant

Thanks for your input everyone, I'll check the cemetery's rules - I hadn't thought about that! Some lovely ideas here, given me much food for thought. ❤️

I just want to say I'm so, so sorry for your loss 💔
I had a TFMR with my first baby, he was born sleeping at 33 weeks of pregnancy. It would actually be his second birthday tomorrow.
We had our son cremated, however we have a rose bush at the crematorium that we treat as a grave kind of. His space is filled with different outdoor lights, lots of robins (our symbol for him), and little ornaments with sweet sayings. I know not everyone is comfortable sharing photos, it's a completely individual choice, but we also have a piece of slate with his picture on too. Then we have little toy with his name on, like trains and tractors, as it felt wrong him not having any toys!
Don't put too much pressure on yourself, I'm sure it will be perfect for your boy! A friend of mine lost her daughter just a few months before I lost my son and she had her buried. She still hasn't picked a headstone because she hasn't found one she likes and she refuses until she's found the perfect one. There's no time limit on this stuff.
Sending you so much love, and again, I'm so, so sorry for your loss 💙