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Bereavement

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My brother died

34 replies

CheesusWept · 21/06/2023 10:07

My brother died. He was 42. I can’t quite believe how badly it has hit me. I didn’t see it coming. He was found at 10:53am on Thursday, on the floor, with ‘drug paraphernalia’ around him, the police have told us.
I keep thinking about what I was doing at that time. I was in the office, laughing around with my colleagues and my poor brother was lying dead.

I feel like the police think he’s a ‘lesser being’ because it’s likely a drug death. I don’t give a fuck if he died by drugs. It makes no difference to me if it was drugs, natural causes, a tragic accident, all that matters to me is that he’s gone. His death isn’t any less tragic. He isn’t less of a person. He was loved. He was such a nice, quiet guy. So very quiet that he just got lost in the background of everything. It devastates me to think that he may not have known how loved he was. I spoke to him last week and I can’t remember if I told him I loved him. It’s tearing me up inside thinking of all the ways I should have been a better sister. I know he wouldn’t have wanted me to feel like that. I just can’t believe he’s gone. Seeing the grief on my parents faces. Knowing that he’s left 2 kids behind - my brother had only found out his 23 year old son was going to be a dad. He was so excited.

I don’t know how to continue and not be thinking of him every minute of the day. His life mattered. He mattered. He was my little brother and I loved him.

I just wanted to get this out there. There’s no need for words, nothing anybody can say.
His name was Charles. He was my brother. His life mattered. I will miss him so much.

OP posts:
Bumblepooh · 17/09/2023 18:11

Hi OP,

I read your original post and your situation is very similar to mine. My 42 year old brother died as a result of an overdose 5 weeks ago.

I am finding things incredibly hard as well. If you want to private message me, I'd be happy to talk.

I hope you are hanging in there, it's bloody hard 💚

MrsMous · 17/09/2023 18:14

Take one day at a time OP and give yourself time to grieve. Your brother was a friend, a son, a father, and a significant person in all your lives. He will be missed by all those who loved him. Every life matters. Rip Charles, may you find peace in heaven.

RabbitsRock · 17/09/2023 18:15

Just noticed this post was a few months back but still wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss OP. Can’t imagine losing my brother. Thinking of you 💐💐💐

givemeanother · 17/09/2023 18:26

@Bumblepooh my brother was aged 46 18months ago when he died from his addiction. I'm no longer overwhelmed with grief every minute of every day so it definitely does get 'easier' but never does a day go by when I don't think of him, where before his death I could easily have not thought of him for many months (he had shut himself off from all family). I've found it such a surprising grief given he wasn't an active part of my life, constantly trying to analyse what went wrong/how it could have all been prevented.

Whilst it shouldn't be a comfort, it does help me knowing there are others who also know what it's like. It's far more common than people ever talk about.

Sending strength to you at what I know is such a hard time Flowers

LifeExperience · 17/09/2023 18:51

My brother died of a drug overdose many years ago, and I know exactly how you feel. I hate to tell people how he died because so many have preconceived notions about what a drug addict is like.

Yes, my brother was an addict, but he was so much more. He was gentle and kind and loved children and animals and was fascinated by the weather. He visited his grandmother regularly. He fought his demons for years, and eventually lost the fight, but he tried, so very hard.

What helps me is that I'm a believer in a loving, forgiving God, and I know in the core of my being that I will see him again, well, and whole, and drug free. I can't wait.

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 17/09/2023 18:55

Rest in peace Charles and I am so sorry for your loss f your obviously much loved brother. I know what a shock it is to lose someone so important - there is life before and life after but the entire world shifts on its axis. I’m so sorry.

Bumblepooh · 17/09/2023 18:56

Thank you so much, @givemeanother . I don't want to turn the attention away from OP and her brother but you taking the time to reply to me means a lot. I am really struggling at the moment.

Used2beMw · 18/09/2023 08:22

I’ve just come across this thread while lying in bed gearing myself up to phone in work sick. My brother died 3 months ago aged 33. Same circumstances, same wait for toxicology etc. We know it’ll be an opiate overdose. The inquest is today.
Love to all that have gone through this.

Bumblepooh · 18/09/2023 11:50

I'm so sorry to hear that @Used2beMw, the dragging out of things really hinders the healing process as well. Thinking of you today 🩵

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