How to support my son

[gallina]

In the space of one week we have lost my grandad, and now one of my sons friends.

My grandad was 80 and although he had been cancer free for a year it was an expected death. His poor friend was found suddenly this morning. After going to bed with a cold.

How on earth do I help my son through this? They were both the same age (14) went to school together, football training, to watch the match and play together after school. We live in the same street just a couple of doors apart.

I can't comprehend how life can be so very cruel

One of my school friends died at the same age, on a school trip.

it was devastating to the whole community. I’m not sure there is much you can do other than give him time and space to process it. I remember a lot of activities put on by school and community that just allowed us to be together and process together. It took a long time to get over it, there were lots of tribute events beyond her funeral.

Look up Winstons wish, it's a charity specifically for helping children through bereavement. They have lots of advice and resources.

Sorry for your losses

Thank you both so much going to look at winstons wish now.

My son's taking it pretty badly, his friend wasn't the most popular in school but he was such a lovely boy, polite friendly and a loyal mate.

Already a group of boys have been making jokes about it, my sons blocked them and I've tried to talk to them about how people like that aren't your friends. So now ontop of being devastated, he's also feeling a lot of anger. Some kids can be vile.

We're just all in shock and devastated. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about that poor boys mother

That's awful OP. Your poor son as well as the boy's family. Having to deal with grief is bad enough, nasty comments just add an extra level of awfulness. Second recommendations for Winston's Wish.

I know it's early days but what about if he focussed on something charitable to raise money or awareness for x or set up a football match in memory of or a regular annual trophy for x sport? Thinking and planning something else in memory may help him, there is of course counselling that may help
Sending a hug 🤗

@Daffodil63 that's a lovely idea thank you, I think giving him something to focus on will be a huge help

How devastating for your poor son and the boy's family - and how awful for you having just lost your granddad too.

I think counselling can be a good idea, to help your DS process what he is feeling. Grief is a lonely place, and it looks like school is not a safe place for discussing it.

Thank you.
It's devastating and has really shook the whole street. The football coach is holding a meeting tomorrow night. We just can't believe it, he's not ready to talk much yet but he's began to express fears of his own mortality, scared to go to sleep incase he doesn't wake up 😞😢

My nephew's best friend at school died when he was 15 in a car crash. He was an only child. It came out of the blue and my nephew just could not process it. They played football for the same team too and had been best friends all through from primary school. He got really depressed afterwards and got very angry for a while. My sister got him some counselling but he had to wait 2 month's before he had it.