Help me - i'm broken

[Yoyoyo1]

I feel like I'm breaking

Sweetheart, do you have someone with you?

Yes but they are looking after the children. I lost my dad in March. The is getting worse.

Your Dad must have been a very special person. I lost my Dad 7 years ago. He was a very special Dad too, and I still miss him, still think about things I'd like to tell him, miss his wry take on current affairs and politics.

Do you want to talk about your lovely Dad?

He was wonderful, kind and funny. The lights have gone out.

It's the worst thing losing a parent. Someone told me early on that it does get easier. It was true and it helped me at the time to hear that from someone. Treasure your memories and take things slowly. So sorry 💐

I don't want to live anymore.

So very sorry you are going through this. It is hard. Grief does catch you and I always think the depth of the pain shows the depth of the love you had for the person who has died. gentle Hugs.

They will come back on again, honestly. You'll be able to remember him with love, talk about him to your children, remember the good things. I know it sounds so clichéd but the pain will fade in time. It's just getting there that's so hard.

Can you bear to talk about him to the people in your life? All I wanted to do when my Dad died was talk and talk about him to anyone who'd listen.

So so sorry you're going through this awful time. My dad died 16 years ago and I still miss him every day. It does get easier though, the grief changes. I remember thinking that I would never ever enjoy anything ever again and feel happiness but you gradually do. And then eventually you remember him in a happy way. Do whatever you can to get through these awful first few months. Take care of yourself

So sorry you are feeling like this, Yoyo.

I feel you. Mine died 3 weeks ago today, he had sepsis and the end was traumatic and brutal. We bury him next week and all I can do is cry and cry. Here to hold your hand with you x

Handhold OP, it’s the most awful, overwhelming feeling. I lost a very close relative nearly two years ago, I didn’t think the tears and the pain would ever stop. Things are improving now, we still speak about her every day. Constantly in our thoughts, but no longer in that very raw, painful stage of grief. It will get easier, but it takes time. It’s totally normal to feel completely broken at this stage in the process. My DS1 took the bereavement very badly, he said the ball in the jar analogy summed up exactly how he felt. It was such a devastating time for our family. I can empathise completely, sending you a hug.

Big big hugs for you OP.
I lost my mum on the 31st August 2006 then my dad passed just 2 days later on the 2nd September 2006. My folks lived at opposite ends of the country after divorcing when I was young, but their love for one another was always there. There anniversary of there deaths will be 17 years this year 😢
I was absolutely and utterly heartbroken when they died, losing them both in a space of 2 days was the hardest and most traumatic thing I've ever faced in my life. I was 26 with 2 young children.
I know it seems like your days will forever be dark, but please please believe me. You will get through this, it will get easier. Of course even after all this time I still miss them and think of them often (there are days when they don't enter my mind and I feel guilt) but they would want you move on, enjoy your life, live it to the fullest. Remember the good times with passion. Take each day as it comes. I know full well the grieving process takes time. Here if you need to chat 💓 big hugs to you during this difficult time. xxx

I lost my dad in March too and I completely feel how you do. I have no words of comfort. I don’t know how to help you as I can’t help myself but I can tell you that you’re not alone out there. Sending you much love ❤️

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes and our condolences,
MNHQ.

Hey lovely, I lost my Dad unexpectedly in 2021 after cancer was missed until it was too late due to Covid.
I was exactly where you are now, it definitely still hurts and I definitely have bad days still but the utter darkness does pass.
Sending you love, please do get some bereavement counselling if you feel it would help.

Thank you for your kind words.