When does the anxiety and exhaustion get better?

[Mabelface]

Mum died 4 weeks ago today. I've no other stressors in my life right now as work have been amazingly supportive and my kids are all doing okay. I've been doing a bit more each day.

I went back to work today, working from home as normal, doing a shorter day for a couple of weeks to phase back in, so 10-4 with breaks and support from my lovely manager as needed.

By 3pm, I was exhausted and the anxiety came and kicked my arse. I just about managed the last hour then climbed back into pyjamas and fluffy hoodie, curled up on the sofa under a fluffy blanket. I won't do anything else today as I just can't. Should mention that I'm autistic/adhd and my anxiety was previously really well controlled. I'm taking beta blockers and am open to ads should I need them.

When did the physical bit get better? I feel like I'm walking through treacle and am also getting a bit frustrated by how it's limiting my life.

Thank you 😊

Hi @Mabelface - so sorry for your loss. I know a few days have passed since your post but I hope you sorted something out. 10-4 doesn't sound like a short day but if you don't want to go back to your Dr to get signed off longer, then hopefully you'll get used to it. Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel comfortable with, like increasing your hours too soon.
Kids keep us going like nothing else but don't feel bad for taking time out from them either. Do whatever you need to do to get you through this horrible time.

Just to add, it's just over 2 months now for me and I'm beginning to see the light, able to do more but still in a bit of a void. Nothing feels the same and I don't know how the future will look. My DS has been my rock, keeps me going. I guess that's how it'll be for a while yet.

So sorry for your loss.
My mum died last year and I was absolutely knocked back by it.
I got quite unwell physically too. I lost a lot of weight, which triggered first-time gout. I got a serious bout of tonsilitis etc etc. We had to empty the house too and it was sooooo hot!
I had some caring responsibilities for a child and that involved a lot of travelling.
It was pretty grim for a year.
Fortunately I have phone sessions with a brilliant counsellor. She's been a massive help.

I'm under no pressure from work as my manager is absolutely wonderful. I wfh so it's not a massively long day and starting to keep my brain busy is helping enormously. I'm still very tired afterwards, but that's fine, I'm just pacing myself.

I'm also looking at trying a bit more socially. Found an art class for nd adults locally which I'll go to, looking at playing badminton with a friend and trying my usual pub quiz. It's very easy for me to become a complete hermit, but definitely not healthy for me!

My kids are adults and have been keeping an eye on me!

I do have my smile and a bit of my spark back, and I'm so glad. I've missed me.

I started getting myself back to “normal” at about three months. Before then I could not cope with leaving the house, felt very insecure. Anxious, slept badly. It’s a nightmare time and I feel for you. ❤️

I don’t know but I’m following with interest and hope. I’m sorry for your loss OP, I lost my brother two weeks ago and I’m struggling. I only took a week off work which I think was a mistake, but I was frightened of being at home on my own with my grief. The problem is I think I’m just suppressing it and storing up trouble for myself. I can’t even contemplate a life without him in it, at this stage it all still feels “unreal”.

That unreal feeling. I get it completely. Acceptance will come in time.