Grief and looking after children

[Yoyoyo1]

I have a husband who is supportive and 2 children, 7 and 10. My df died 5 weeks ago. I find it hard being around the children. They need so much from me, and I just want to hide away. I end up being grumpy and snappy.

At 7 and 10 they will be able to understand you not being at your best. Cut yourself some slack, YOU must not expect so much of yourself, and tell them Mummy is sad at the moment and being sad can make you tired too, so right now I can't do that, but later on we can all have a snuggle and watch blah blah.
You need - and deserve - the space to process your grief. They can handle it but it's better if it's spoken to them in simple terms rather than you trying to soldier on and getting stressed because you know you're not coping.
I'm so sorry. It's hard but you are not in the wrong for needing to hide away. It's normal.
Sorry for your loss, OP. 🌷

I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t have experience of this but my heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is to look after kids when you’re just ill or tired so can only imagine how little emotional bandwidth you have spare for them just now.

Are you talking to them about what’s happening? I think in general for kids the idea of rupture and repair is very helpful. So when you get grumpy with them, it’s pretty unavoidable in circumstances like these, but if you can try to repair when you can, that makes a big difference. The main thing is them knowing it’s not their fault, explaining that you are hurting and sad and it’s harder to be patient mum. They may not fully understand but the message that it’s not their fault is what will help while you pass through the hardest time. You’ll also be helping them learn about emotional literacy and that it’s normal to get grumpy and out of sorts when difficult things happen.