My Dad died on Saturday.
He had pancreatic cancer and then a stroke. I live miles away and managed to be there for his last week which was a rollercoaster of decline. From seeing him last Sunday when he was talking but hard to understand, to Wednesday and Thursday when he couldn't speak, couldn't see... Just torturous awful descent. It was horrific.
I just looked at the calendar. I found out his diagnosis three weeks ago. He didn't see a consultant for ten days after seeing his diagnosis in his discharge notes. He saw the consultant on the Monday just over two weeks ago. He gave him 3 to 6 months. This time last week I was trying to get him to a hospice but was told he wasn't ill enough to be top of the list. By Saturday he was dead.
I'm back at home, feeling numb.
I posted in 30 days only but maybe here is the right place to say what I'm thinking. I have nobody around me. Just my little autistic boy who is happy to be home and back at school.
I don't know what I'm feeling.