I'm grieving for my ex who has died. We have a child together

Amymil · 2023-03-27T18:54:36+00:00

Recently my ex partner and the father to my eldest child died, and I am grieving far more than expected. He died suddenly in an accident and its totally rocked our worlds. I am in a new relationship now and have two other young children, but I can't think of anything else. I'm grieving for my child, the memories she will never now make and also grieving for myself. Is this wrong? I keep thinking of him and I feel guilty.

anon666 · 27/03/2023 20:21

Oh gosh, how heartbreaking. This must be unbelievably hard.

I don't think grieving has to make sense, it just comes in waves and it's painful.

Hiddenvoice · 27/03/2023 22:39

I am so sorry for your loss. He was a massive part of your life. He is the father of your child and was your love at some point so it’s completely understandable that you’re grieving. You’re grieving the life you two had and all your memories as well as grieving for your child and what they will miss out on.

Take time to grieve with your child, don’t rush your feelings. Sending love to you all!

neilyoungismyhero · 27/03/2023 22:46

My ×H died of cancer at the age of 38. We had 2 children together but were divorced. I didn't know he was even ill, I had moved away. It was a complete shock and I just felt numb for a long time. We obviously had a history together plus children and I always thought he was the love of my life despite our remarriages. It was so sad too that he lost his life at such a young age. It's been years since his death but I think of him often.
Condolences to you OP.

Original poster

Amymil · 28/03/2023 13:13

neilyoungismyhero · 27/03/2023 22:46

My ×H died of cancer at the age of 38. We had 2 children together but were divorced. I didn't know he was even ill, I had moved away. It was a complete shock and I just felt numb for a long time. We obviously had a history together plus children and I always thought he was the love of my life despite our remarriages. It was so sad too that he lost his life at such a young age. It's been years since his death but I think of him often.
Condolences to you OP.

Yes, the relationship wasn't the best and pretty toxic St times but I would go as far as saying he was my first love. And I don't think that feeling comes about again. The same feeling anyway. He was 37. I'm just in shock with it all still. My daughter is managing. Sometimes I think better than me. Just can't shift the guilty feeling of feeling like this. But he was a huge part of My life foe a long time and we shared a child together. Life is so cruel

OP posts:

Original poster

Amymil · 28/03/2023 13:13

neilyoungismyhero · 27/03/2023 22:46

My ×H died of cancer at the age of 38. We had 2 children together but were divorced. I didn't know he was even ill, I had moved away. It was a complete shock and I just felt numb for a long time. We obviously had a history together plus children and I always thought he was the love of my life despite our remarriages. It was so sad too that he lost his life at such a young age. It's been years since his death but I think of him often.
Condolences to you OP.

Thank you x

OP posts:

Original poster

Amymil · 28/03/2023 13:13

anon666 · 27/03/2023 20:21

Oh gosh, how heartbreaking. This must be unbelievably hard.

I don't think grieving has to make sense, it just comes in waves and it's painful.

Thank you.x

OP posts:

Original poster

Amymil · 28/03/2023 13:14

Hiddenvoice · 27/03/2023 22:39

I am so sorry for your loss. He was a massive part of your life. He is the father of your child and was your love at some point so it’s completely understandable that you’re grieving. You’re grieving the life you two had and all your memories as well as grieving for your child and what they will miss out on.

Take time to grieve with your child, don’t rush your feelings. Sending love to you all!

Thank you x

OP posts:

user50and · 28/03/2023 13:20

My ExH and father to my two DC took his own life 4 years ago, we had not been together for 9 years when it happened but there is not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Like people have said he was a huge part of your life. Hugs x