Grief waves

[MoiraIsACow]

I lost my mum in December. We were really close and it was a very swift decline, traumatic death and overall a huge shock.

I’ve noticed that almost like clockwork. My mood oscillates in fortnightly intervals…. Two weeks of completely unable to function and then two weeks of feeling completely normal. I actually find this somewhat comforting as it seems a logical and rhythmic way of processing it and makes me feel more accepting of the bad days.

just wondering if anybody else is experiencing such an organised response?

it’s so odd!

I feel this way. I'm still grieving and probably always will be. I thought it was just me and maybe hormones. I seem to be organised and positive and good company to be around then I have weeks where I'm so miserable. Everything is everybody else's fault I hate my life and feel hard done by. I want to just up and leave. Trying supplements now. Have tried exercise but that only seems possible on on the 2 good weeks.
I feel your pain.

@iloveautumn3 thanks for your reply. I’m sorry for your loss…. It’s really good to hear from somebody in the same position.
At the start I was cycling between normality and sad every few hours which was exhausting. I am determined to recover from my mothers death and don’t want to be grieving for the rest-of my life (sorry mum!)

I’ve done my best to confront everything head on and overall am coping relatively well. The two weeks when I am in full acceptance and “not-a-tear-in-me” mode, I feel so relieved that I am completely invigorated. I wonder if over time the sad phases become shorter while the positive phases extend. That’s what I am hoping! I’ve read lots of articles but nothing that says how often you oscillate between the two modes. I am surprised that TO THE DAY I am 14 days low and sad and reflective and 14 days steely cold, indifferent. buoyant and energetic. So strange.

I’ve read about the dual process model
of grief and it really speaks to me.

I will look it up. Sometimes I just want to live on my own and hide away from the world. I'm sorry for your loss.

I think I cope better in the summer being indoors makes me overthink and sad.

Yes, I'm noticing similar. Mum died just after new year and in a bad week I'm either crying or so cross and irritable with life. My work performance is suffering quite a bit on those weeks. Life feels pointless and flat. Yet on the good weeks I get the house sorted, I manage work fine and quite happy. I've just shifted from a bad wave into the better one this week.