Losing my mum to early onset dementia, lost both my grannies within the last two years (one died Oct 2021 at the grand old age of 92 of covid/alzheimers, the other died 2 weeks after mum was diagnosed over the summer - went out for a drive and never came home.)
Mother's Day is creeping closer and I'm struggling. I'll be alone - won't be with family, too far away, too far to travel and can't really afford the train fare right now - waiting until the end of next month if possible.
Mum won't know it's mothers day - doesn't appear to know she is a mum or tbh even understand the concept of what a mum is, I'll send her a card and take some gifts next time I see her but she won't know. Normally we'd get her favourite perfume, chocolates and go out for a meal somewhere. She definitely can't go out for a meal now though, too far gone - wouldn't be able to sit down for more than 5 minutes if that even. I normally get her nicer toiletries than usual and something she can cuddle into, but it's difficult to know. Photos etc don't work at all - they just confuse her further.
My mum's brothers will see to putting something on my granny's grave, and I know my dad's family will arrange something re the other granny too.
My younger sister will go to mass and light a candle etc. I don't feel at all comfortable with going to church.
I have got a v good friend I normally send a wee 'like a mum' card to (as she is, like a mum to me, she's wonderful) but struggling with the notion of that this year and feeling incredibly guilty for considering doing so.
I know I'm not alone in feeling sad and struggling, but trying to think of things I could do next weekend that would be comforting or nice or somehow celebrating my mum. We loved going out window shopping and then for coffee somewhere, but not enjoying the thought of doing that alone!