Reminders of pain - Eastenders

[Caneverybodyjustcalmdown]

Almost five years ago (anniversary is a week or so away) I had a TFMR. Our little girl, our first child, was born alive at 19 weeks and held on for four hours. While it was 100% the right choice for us (and her), it still hurts so much. Over the past five years, I’ve had counselling, talked about it, come to terms with it. I’ve had what I feel is a healthy grieving process. I’ve also had a son I never thought I would. He’s the absolute light of ours lives. We are so lucky to have him.
We’ve just turned the TV on and a character in Eastenders is going through the same process we did and it’s just hit me like a train. I don’t really watch it so I don’t know the storylines, otherwise I wouldn’t have put it on. I feel like I’ve been transported back in time to those early days when the grief was so raw.
I’m not sure why I’m posting. Maybe a handhold? Maybe to know that I’m not the only one this happens to?

How are you feeling today @Caneverybodyjustcalmdown ?

Better thank you, but still a bit shaky. The lead up to the anniversary always gets me, but I was in absolute bits on Friday and that rarely happens. Thank you for replying.

It must have been a terrible shock to stumble upon this - especially at this most painful time of the year for you.

It’s OK to feel sad and be surprised by your vulnerability. You’ve endured a huge traumatic and complex loss.

I hope you can be kind to yourself this week and allow yourself to know that grief doesn’t have to be done and dusted. Some of the pain is just love turned inside out. Xx

I'm afew episodes behind this one but I skimmed through it earlier to prepare myself. I had a TFMR nearly 10years ago. I knew it was coming as I'd seen spoilers on Facebook. I put it off afew days then thought I should just get it over with.
At the time I was quite active on TMFR boards on another site so know edwards syndrome from that. It does bring it all back, you end up thinking about similarities and your experiences. I had surgical so was put to sleep and didn't have to give birth. I've had 3 healthy children since. hugs*

I had a TMFR just over 3 years ago at 21 weeks. Our darling girl had severe spina bifida.

I haven't really watched Eastenders in a long time but following your post went to read the articles about it. Immediately found myself back there. The anger at not having a legal recognition of her compounds the shock and grief.

Everyone who has experienced this...please be kind to yourselves x