Why no dreams of my mum

[lollipoprainbow]

I lost my lovely mum in October we were incredibly close and I think about her all the time. I've yet to have one dream about her which I find strange. My brother who wasn't as close to her has had a few dreams of her. I'd love her to visit me in my dream, maybe she thinks I'm not ready.

It may be that you are dreaming about her but not remembering, or that because you think of her often you don't have a subconscious need to dream about her.

I'm sorry for your loss

I lost my Mum in 2006 and think in all the time since I’ve only seen her in dreams about 6 times in all. She was in a wheelchair for her last 6 years, but in my dreams she’s walking, so that’s given me comfort. I do dream about my deceased in-laws quite a bit more, but we as a family did more with them, due to childminding we saw them 3/4 times a week, holidayed with them and had regular family get togethers. Most dreams with them, we are on holiday. Hoping you soon get to have your Mum in your dreams soon, also remember that we often don’t remember dreams when we wake, so you may have dreams about her and not know it. Take care, loosing our Mums is so very hard.

Dreaming can be the mind’s way of making sense of feelings that you haven’t been able to process or acknowledge during the day. So it might be that you’re acknowledging your grief enough and your mind has no reason to make dreams.

Also dreams can be more vivid and memorable in deep sleep, so if you’re sleeping lightly they just might not come or be memorable.

My dm died last year, I too think about her all the time but haven't dreamt about her, I also think it's because I think about her all the time so my brain doesn't need to process it when I'm asleep.
I moved in to look after her when she fell ill so I had time to prepare for what was coming.
It may also help that I sold my house and bought my dm's house so I'm living in her home which I still call mum's house.
To add a bit of woo I sometimes think I can smell her, just a whiff of my mum's smell then it's gone.

So sorry for your loss. Dreams about my mum took quite some time to come through. I accepted this as just a period of waiting whilst my mind processed what had happened, also my spirituality told me that someone who has passed over is busy adjusting to the next phase as well and may not make contact. I have had some quite recent dreams involving me worrying about both my parents and then seeing them being cared for by what I can only describe as a psychic social services team: a wise and kindly nurse figure plus a ‘social worker’ to help them do the things they struggled with in this life.

I lost my sister last year and I have been waiting for her to be in my dreams but she has not yet. I think it’s because I spend so much time in the day thinking about her. She really was beautiful.

My mum died in December and I only had my first dream this week. We were very close and she lived with me for a bit. I’ve been really jealous of people
who have had dreams, and it was so nice to have one. But like you I spend a lot of time thinking about her and actively processing my grief through talking, listening to podcasts like grief cast,
writing a-grief journal and having a nap every day. I’ve assumed that as I am at relative peace and acceptance over her death, there is little for me to subconsciously resolve.

Sorry for your loss ❤️

I don't like dreaming about my mum. It just brings back the loss when I wake up again..

@Lambchop1 I lost my sister seven years ago and I dream of her all the time.

I lost a parent 3 years ago. I've yet to have a single dream with them in since they passed.

My DM came a few nights after she passed.

I was walking down a busy street we had both visited and loved. She came walking out of the crowd in her best coat. She was smiling at me.

I actually jumped awake in shock and it's a memory so strong it makes me feel very emotional.

I haven't dreamt of her since, but I think your brain has to be ready to present her to you.

I’ve found people process it differently. I don’t think about my parents through the day but they’re always in my dreams. I felt guilty I didn’t have them constantly on my mind but they’re obviously there somewhere. Maybe they’re giving you some relief x

I lost my Mum in November and she is in my thoughts every day. I haven't had any dreams about her so far. On the morning of her funeral a Robin appeared outside our kitchen window and sat on the fence for some time, looking in. Maybe that was a sign from her. A few years after I lost my Dad I had a lovely dream where we were together, talking and we were back in time to when I was about 14. When I awoke I had a feeling of great peace. I hope maybe the same might happen with Mum, given time.

My mum died a year and a half ago and I’ve dreamed of her once. I actually found it really upsetting when I woke up, because I’d been waiting such a long time for it and it brought a lot of my sadness back.

I lost my Dm some 20+ years ago & have only dreamt about her a handful of times.

I lost my DH 2 years ago & dream about him almost nightly. I wish I didn't - it can be very tough when I wake.

There is no way of controlling ones dreams.

It's maybe your subconscious protecting you. When you're a bit more ready it will I'm sure happen.

It finally happened !

Last night in my dream my mum appeared at my front room window, in the dream I knew she shouldn't be there as she had gone, she came in and hugged me tight and said she had missed me so much. I said she wouldn't be able to stay long and she agreed. She looked rosy cheeked and well like she was before dementia ravaged her. It felt comforting.

How lovely for you, I’m so pleased, I do think they appear in dreams how we would like to see them or maybe that’s how we remember them most.