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Bereavement

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How to tell people

2 replies

volleyballing · 27/02/2023 11:58

Posting for advice really to see what others suggest.

Many years ago we lost a child. People around us knew. Since then we have moved, changed jobs etc and I have some friends who I consider close but I have never told them. I’m not really sure why. I guess it’s hard to talk about and is not a topic that comes up in conversation. We have another child who is a teenager.

Recently it was the anniversary and it the date corresponded with something some friends and I were planning. I decided at the last minute I couldn’t do it and even said it was a difficult anniversary but I didn’t say why.

I kind of feel like I’m keeping a secret from people and I want to tell them but I don’t really know where to start. I’m a fairly bubbly person and not someone who talks about feelings much and I slightly wonder if I could get the words out. I think I would like some people I’m with every day to know but I don’t want things to change between us.

An unusual situation and I should have just been matter of fact at the time but I can’t change that and I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how you’ve handled it?

OP posts:
Gemls3123 · 01/03/2023 16:59

I think if these people are people you trust and value in your life then you’ll find a way to let them know. Otherwise they might not be the people you want around you. It can be difficult but that part of your life is over and you can grieve but it won’t change the relationships you could make

Imnoonesfool · 01/03/2023 17:10

My sister found herself in a similar situation a few years ago. Her daughter would be 17 now. She actually posted a birthday wish with some really beautiful words on her social media saying how much she was missed etc. all of her friends that didn’t know commented sending their love ….not necessarily how some would do it but I know it meant a lot to my sister to say it out loud on what would have been a special day

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