When did you clear out the house?

[SlaveToTheVibe]

My mum died in December and we have just finished getting her home ready for sale. We’ve been sensitive and respectful
of her possessions but I can’t tell if we are going too fast and will end up regretting it.

I know everybody moves at a different pace and but would really like to hear when anybody else was able to deal with clothes and books and absolutely all possessions.

We both have mortgages up for renewal which is why we felt we had to get on with it. I’m hoping it won’t make it emotional recovery harder.

just interested in hearing when anybody else felt able?

My parents died in the March and April, and the house was completely cleared by June. Due to distance, things I needed to sort through came back with me to a storage unit which I had until September - nothing came into the house to sort which concentrated my mind.
I was pretty ruthless tbh, but don't regret it. I preferred to rip the plaster off and just get it sorted

it depends lots of councils start charging full council tax again after 6 months, start with the easy stuff kitchen, bathroom garden shed books furniture, then move onto sentimental items
or alternatively just take what you want to keep and get house clearance people in, they will take all the furniture china glass etc
if you think something is valuable but don't want it take it to local auction house they do valutions for auctions for free ( they sometimes charge for valuations for insurance purposes)
I think as it's has been a few months it is best just to get it over and done with, do not clutter your own home up with things you don't want or need

you can always take photos of things rather than keep the actual thing, the memory is not actually in the item itself

Clearing a house is a huge task, physically and emotionally, so well done on getting through it. Whether you do it quickly or take your time, you're still going through the same process of making decisions about what to keep and what to let go. Even if you do have some pangs of regret in future, try to be gentle with yourself and remember that you did the best you could at the time and it was all part of your grieving and coping process.

After a month I think. We didn’t want to leave the house empty. So I spent a few days sorting, taking what I wanted, getting rid of almost everything else and then making it look presentable for viewings. Then once it was sold I had to totally clear the remaining furniture. I used a house clearance company.

Ok thanks. We’ve totally beasted it - estate agent coming today actually. Just suddenly wondering if I’ve been too ruthless and speedy but that’s kind of how I do things really. It’s been two months only.

I'm very sorry for your loss Op .

We donated my Mum's clothes, bags, shoes after about two months to a local charity shop. We also donated a few pictures and ornaments to the same charity shop. I kept her china dinner service and crystal glasses as they were much nicer than mine and they were my Mum's pride and joy. I would only pass it on to family now.

My Mum had a lot of china and ornaments and I confess I couldn't bring myself to get rid of much and my sibling didn't want hardly anything, so I kept loads. I've found it comforting having some of her stuff around, but it's now been five years and I am ready to let a lot of it go. I plan to donate, sell and pass on to her GC who have expressed an interest in some bits now that they are older.

My advice is, if you are having to clear the house quickly and you are unsure which bits you want to keep, and you have the room to store them, then pack them up and keep until you are ready to make that decision. At this stage everything is still so raw and it's practically impossible to keep emotions out of your decisions. It will be much easier to make those decisions several months down the line when you are feeling calmer and unhurried. BTW I'm not suggesting you wait five years like me, but in a few months you might be ready to open one box and make a decision with your family.

In the end as you say everyone moves at a different pace and it's whatever works for you and your family.

My Mum died at the end of November. We started to sort and clear things straight away. Clothes, shoes, bags, kitchen items, books have gone to charity shop. Her house is about an hours drive away so we are going about once a week as there are still some items to sort. I am keeping a few items of good china and glass pending auction. Also some ornaments. We are keeping a couple of furniture items but the rest will go. Mum was very practical and I hope she would be happy with what we have done. Planning to put the house on the market next month. I found that getting stuck into the task was the best way for me although some items/photographs did stir the emotions.

My mum lived 400 miles away, so I had no real choice but to clear it the week of the funeral, which was a week after she had died. We had to be ruthless too as she had a lot of stuff. We kept a few bits but hired a house clearance company who took everything else, as the charity shops were at capacity or not getting back to us.
She was not one for housework so it had to be scrubbed top to bottom, and I ended up hiring a cleaning company too.

I don't think there is a set time frame at all. My mum passed suddenly in September and I'm still clearing the house, but I'm an only child (and I have a 6m old). Mum loved a bargain and never liked to get rid of anything just in case it might come in handy! I felt I owed it to her to go through everything before getting house clearance in, for example we found Christmas gifts, and little bowls and plates she'd got for her grandaughter for weaning - obviously kept them. So far, I've also kept a mixture of practical things and things for sentimental purposes.

I think the most important thing is the memories you hold and whilst possessions/photos may help to remember, you've already got those memories.

My Mum died in October and I’ve done nothing. I live in another country, which makes it more difficult. We are finally about to put all the documentation in for probate, but that hasn’t been easy, as she had seven bank accounts, savings bonds and bits of money everywhere.

I don’t know where to start with clearing the house really. I think we’ll have to hire a skip, but I want to go through everything first. The loft and garage are also full…

ee went through the house the weekend of the funeral. My sister was the only one who lived nearby, one brother and I live abroad and another far away. So not often all together. A lot of her things had already gone as mum had been in a home for a while. My sister and I were dithering about a couple of bags of nice clothes, stuff we remembered her buying for special occasions and didn’t want to put in the charity bin. My brother just picked them up and put them in the charity bin. That was the right thing to do for us. We are quite a practical family….

we all took something that meant something to us….crystal wine glasses in my case that sit untouched in the kitchen cupboard but I like to see them.

it did make me realise stuff isn’t that important.

im sorry for your loss.

It didn’t help that she lived I. The arse end of nowhere in Cornwall….

My DM was killed in an accident early September. The family home of over fifty years went on the market early October, sold easily, was cleared and we handed the keys over Christmas Eve. Worst experience of my life.
I had lots of stuff in my spare room for a while but still regret getting rid of some things so quickly.

No right or wrong way to do this. Depends on a number of factors.

We had to clear out my grandmothers house. Due to huge distance between her house and where most of us grandchildren live we actually cleared a lot of stuff the day after the funeral when as we all stayed a local hotel. All took home what we wanted/what my grandmother wanted us to have.
The rest (furniture, old garden stuff, suitcases in loft etc) was gradually cleared over the next month or two as the house had to be marketed and sold.

Inheritance tax falls due by six months, I believe, whether or not any property is sold. So by the time you've cleared the house, got the estate agent lined up, viewings, offers, and then conveyancing, it's a sad truth that you're probably better off just getting on and doing it. I appreciate it's hard and I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks everybody. I felt like I was being quite callous but glad to see that I’m not being hasty. I surreptitiously moved a lot into my sisters garage and the few things that mean anything to me are here safe which is comforting. Cleaners have been in and keys handed over to estate agents. I’m grateful for your responses - my sister feels like it’s too soon but she’ll never be easy. I am somewhat more steely. And yea, none of it truly matters. I found it very healing and felt like we dealt with everything in a sensitive way so far. Off to the tip today with her clothes.

My sympathies with everybody who has gone through this.

theres no right or wrong answer, i took best part of 9 months to competely clear the house out and got it ready to sell, i couldnt face doing it alone and had to rely on when other people could come and help me do it

I'm still going up to clear bits out over a year later. Don't live anywhere near and I'm not ready to part with the house I grew up in. There's a limit to what I can carry to the tip on my own too. Can't sell yet anyway as still waiting for land registry to create deeds and the like. Those the building soc had were for the plot only.