I don’t know how to organise a will for my dying father

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Please can anyone help?

I am sorry if this is the wrong thread. My head is all over the place.

We have been given the awful and unexpected news dad has months to live after finding cancer and that it’s spread.

There is only my sister and I but dad wants to get a will sorted. He’s too poorly to travel as he’s physically very weak.

How can I help him sort his will? Can someone come to his house?

I don’t know where to start. We are trying to cope with the news and keep dad independent living as long as we can as it’s very important to him (I want him here with me where I can look after him but we are respecting his wishes whilst he’s still able to get about in his house). We are an hour away from him so I’m not familiar with the city.

Apologies if this is on the wrong thread.

Thank you for your time.

We did ours online , had a phone consultation, they were posted out to us . Then you just need two people to witness your signature, we asked our neighbours to pop in . To be honest we used one of the groupon offers , all completed within about 2 weeks from start to finish .

I'm so sorry for your father and your family.

We used a Mumsnetter's company www.marlowwills.co.uk/contactus.aspx to do our wills.

We did it all over the phone and it was made very simple. In the circumstances perhaps this might be an attractive option for your father.

Otherwise I'd imagine you could find a local solicitor who could help.

I would ring round a few solicitors who can either come and visit him in person or can take instructions via zoom/ telephone about his will. They will need to speak to your father directly and ensure he has capacity to make a will and that he isn't being pressured into leaving assets to anyone in particular. It shouldn't take long to get an appointment and get a will in place.

I'm sorry that your father is so ill but hopefully this can be sorted fairly quickly. Take care.

We had a local firm come out and take my grandfather’s instructions for his will. It was only around £75 extra for a home visit.

Sorry to hear about your father OP 💐

I see you already have the will advice I wanted to give. But wanted to extend my sympathy for the news of your fathers prognosis and suggest MacMillan Cancer foundation as a source of additional support. My DH recently went through similar as his elder brother was diagnosed May 22 and passed away Oct 22 from cancer. 💐

We used a local solicitor for mum and they came to the house. It cost obviously but it was an option. If it is a straightforward will doing it online might be the easiest/cheapest.

If you are engaging a solicitor for the will maybe consider if you also need financial and/or health power of attorney to help manage his bills/make decisions for him if he no longer can.

Sorry you are going through this.

Thank you everyone.

Really thank you.

I’ve just cried at some of your messages, although I’m not crying in front of my dad as he has asked for us to be happy around him.

It takes all our courage and strength to do this and we try to make him laugh about our antics over the years and his antics in the army.

It’s a huge shock. One minute he was OK and the next this. I’ve such a sick feeling and pain like you wouldn’t believe.

Thank you for all your replies. I’m sorry for those of you who have experienced loss and I send you my love.

It’s hard to tell people in real life. I don’t want them to know. I think I’m in denial. If people don’t know it’s not happening. Stupid. I know.

Your feelings and reactions are perfectly valid - don't feel bad about them. I second the Macmillan suggestion, they can provide a wealth of support and resources for you and your family.

In respect of LPAs, these are taking at least 5 months to be processed currently. You can access the forms online and complete them yourself - you don't need a solicitor and they cost about £84 for each application (Health and Welfare/Property and Affairs). Your dad will need to agree to these as he needs to sign the forms.

As previous posters have saiit can be organised remotely or as I experienced a solicitor will come out (in my case to my mum's hospice). You need to be kind to yourself. It is lonely and horrible to see your parent suffer and pass away from cancer. You'll feel scared and desperate to keep them comfortable and want to keep them here, knowing the impossibility of it all. Take each day as it comes. Spend time with your dad, whether that's watching squirrels play in the park or watching a favourite movie or enjoying an afternoon tea etc. But also take some time each day on your own doing something you normally enjoy. It feels forced at first but that alone time can help you to be strong for your dad. My thoughts are with you.

Not sure what happened there in my first sentence so I'll try again. Yes solicitors can organise wills remotely or if preferred travel to the client.

Most solicitors will travel to home/hospital to draft it. All the firms I've worked at do. As long as your dad still has mental capacity.

Good luck OP

If it's a very simple will (say he wants to divide his estate equally between a number of people), you can just draw it up yourselves, print it out and get his signature witnessed. My husband did this, left everything to me, and I had no problems with getting it accepted. I'm sure there are templates online, but so long as his wishes are clear you'll be fine.

As mentioned by a previous poster, we used Marlow Wills and they were excellent. All done over the phone.

Having previously used an online template, I really wouldn't recommend this.

I am sorry that you and your family are in this position, and hope that your Dad remains well enough to enjoy some special times with you.

Thank you everyone. We have contacted Macmillian who have been fabulous so thank you for that.

Also thank you for your advice. Dad has been admitted into hospital since my post, it’s been a busy day, so I’m hoping it’s temporary for fluids and assessment of a stent into his oesophagus.

I have really appreciated every single one of your posts. I felt very alone this morning, but I realise there are many kind people out there who can help.

I am sorry for all of you that have experienced this. I’m very grateful for your replies. Honestly, I really am.

x

So sorry to read about your dad. Marie Curie offer a free will writing service. This can be done via internet/ over phone( with Farewill) or with a solicitor. The person does not have to leave a gift in their will to Marie Curie.The info is on their website. Take care.

Sending you love ❤️