Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

How to help a grieving child?

5 replies

HildasLostSock · 11/02/2023 20:19

My father in law died unexpectedly almost a year ago. He was admitted to hospital out of the blue and died less than a week later in March last year. My daughter was 5 at the time and understandably devastated (we saw him every other week, so she saw him regularly). She seemed to come to terms with it and has been back to her normal self for quite some time however this past week she has suddenly started saying that she wants him and has been in floods of tears several times. Neither my husband nor myself believe in an afterlife of any kind, so I don't feel that I can say that he's gone to heaven or anything like that. I tell her how much he loved her and that she made him very happy but I don't know how else to help her with her grief. She knows that he's gone and not in pain any more but she just wants him back. Its awful seeing her so upset and not being able to ease her pain. Is there any way that I can help her with this, or do we just hope that the passage of time softens it for her? Is there any way that we can help her? Thank you.

OP posts:
BCBird · 11/02/2023 20:22

Are the school aware of this? Could you ask them for some advice perhaps? It's worth letting them know in case your daughter's behaviour changes. Good luck

Zola1 · 11/02/2023 20:27

When my nan died, my daughter was 6 and she was devastated as she loved her great nanny. We did some things like a little memory box, framed a photo of them for her room, and she has one of my nans necklaces. I also bought her a book we used to read quite a lot called 'Tell Me About Heaven, Grandpa'. It is a lovely little story and helped her a lot x

ReedRite · 11/02/2023 20:30

I’m so sorry, OP. The book ‘The Invisible String’ may be a comfort for her.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 11/02/2023 20:35

Winstons wish is a charity specially for helping bereaved children. They have lots of very good resources and links to support services.

www.winstonswish.org/

HildasLostSock · 11/02/2023 20:59

@BCBird I had to pull her out of school at the time so that she could see him before he died so they know that he's gone but not that she's started getting upset again - good idea I will tell her teacher.

@Zola1 I gave her a locket with his photo in, but that's a good idea thank you. She has been asking to take a picture of him with her to school, perhaps a proper memory box that she can dip in and out of when she wants to would be a good thing.

@ReedRite I will look the book up thank you, and thank you for the link @FatAgainItsLettuceTime I will go have a read now

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page